Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue
by Duwee Davis II
Summary: This is it. The end. No more in the touhou circle for me. Here's a bittersweet, distant-future style fic set twenty years ahead of the end of Yutaka's Big Fat Youkai Wedding, the last book in my series of eight. This is number nine. I intended this to be a single chapter but the sheer size of it makes it have to be split into three chapters. I love you, my fans. I love you.
1. The Epilogue- Part 1

Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue

**Time passes, even in Gensokyo**

_Hakurei Shrine, early morning_

The Hakurei Shrine was in a state of peace. Twenty years had passed, and although one of the occupants of the house had grown up, and had, for the most part, given up her role as protector of Gensokyo, a young, energetic girl of the age of thirteen had taken up the mantel, and was currently the only one in the house that was awake.

The time was around five in the morning, and while Reimu Hakurei the thirteenth was sleeping, her tireless, black-haired successor had already awoken, and she was busy making Miso for herself and her adoptive mother. She had been told from an early age the situation, yet could not help but view Reimu as a mother of sorts. Pouring the soup into two separate bowls, she took one bowl across and into Reimu's bedroom.

Standing over the sleeping, grown-up Shrine Maiden, the girl called, "Reimu! Reimu! Wake up, Reimu..."

Reimu groaned, "...Patricia? Is that you? Why are you up so early?"

"It isn't early, you've just slept in..." Patricia replied, "...it's five in the morning already!"

"...that's early!" Reimu muttered, "Can't you just go back to sleep?"

"...I've made you soup..." Patricia said disappointedly.

Reimu opened her eyes somewhat grudgingly, and sat up in her bed, "...honestly, what the hell? You can't keep getting up like this, Patricia... Suika is bad enough for making noise, the last thing I need is you actively _trying _to get me up..."

Patricia sighed, "...well, here's your soup. Do you know when Uncle Jean and Aunty Marisa will be coming round?"

Reimu took the bowl off of her successor, and said, "...well, not any time soon. They sleep at this time of the day, like normal people."

"...I thought you said that we're anything but normal..." Patricia pointed out.

"...well, yeah, but that doesn't stop them being normal." Reimu replied, "...look, if you want, I can teach you some more techniques..."

Patricia's small face became smug, "...ha! I know everything you know! I beat you in a Danmaku battle the other day, remember?"

"Oh? You didn't think that I could be going easy on you because I didn't want you to get hurt?" Reimu asked, "...if you're so smart, try to do this..."

Reimu put her bowl onto the bedside table, and crossed her forearms, pointing her index and middle fingers outwards, and instantly phased from her bed to a space directly behind Patricia. She tapped her on the back, and said, "Boo."

Patricia jumped, and said, "Okay, I can't do that..."

Reimu smirked, and began to list other things she was incapable of, "...you also need to work on forming a proper duplex barrier, you need to learn how to go from one side of a screen to another, your high speed flight is fast, but sloppy, and although you look like you've got the hang of using yin-yang orbs as means of firing projectiles, you don't know the first thing about throwing the yin yang orbs themselves..."

"Uncle Jean's nicer to me when he teaches me..." Patricia complained.

"...and that's where he's going wrong. He's too afraid to just say you're doing something wrong..." Reimu began to rant, "...I mean, how are you meant to improve if no-one tells you where you're going wrong?"

Patricia mumbled, "...I guess you're right..."

Reimu ruffled Patricia's hair, "...of course I'm right. Now, you can go out and sweep the grounds, seeing as you're so desperate to be awake at this time..."

Patricia folded her arms, "...I haven't eaten my breakfast yet!"

"Well, eat it up and get to work... it's your own fault for getting up so early." Reimu replied.

"...you're mean, Reimu..." Patricia replied half-truthfully.

"You wouldn't have me any other way, though, would you?" Reimu asked, "And when you're tired tonight, it'll be a lesson to you. Never interrupt your mother... er, predecessor while she's sleeping..."

Reimu's slip of the tongue made Patricia smile, "...Reimu... why am I called Patricia? All of the people at this shrine before you were called Reimu, just like you, weren't they?"

Reimu folded her arms, "...well, let's just say you're named after someone who was very important to your Uncle Jean. Speaking of which... Patricia?"

Patricia cocked her head, "...what is it?"

"...um... Uncle Jean... do you know if... if he and... Aunty Marisa are... you know, together? It's just they've been living together for a long time now, but they haven't been acting like a couple or anything, and I was just..." Reimu stopped talking when she realised she was confusing the young girl.

"...well, I wouldn't know anything about that stuff." Patricia replied, "...whenever I visit, they don't seem to look like a couple, but I've never had a boyfriend, so I wouldn't know..."

Reimu shuddered, almost feeling the urge to say 'get used to it, kid'. She felt somewhat small knowing that she would never be able to give her child any personal advice when it came to relationships. She decided that it was probably for the best that she stuck to Danmaku, and stopped worrying about it.

"...okay then, get eating your breakfast, and sweep up the grounds. And if you see any Youkai..." Reimu began to say, but Patricia beat her to her own sentence.

"...yes, show them off whatever way you can..." Patricia replied, "...what if that weirdo Tengu or the Kitsune from the floating house come down?"

Reimu folded her arms, "No exceptions."

"But what if he's just passing by?" Patricia asked.

"He can use the sky." Reimu replied, "He's usually just coming to be all annoying and dote over you when he's here, it's kinda creepy..."

"...I like him. He's nice to me..." Patricia said, "...Youkai can be nice people, can't they?"

"...well, most of them are untrustworthy, but..." Reimu scratched her head, "...well, that guy's odd, even by Youkai standards. He's lived in the outside world with humans without doing a single thing to hurt them, or so they say. He must be under the delusion that he's a human or something. Don't pay any attention to him. He's a sad, strange little man."

"...well, he didn't seem strange when I talked to him the other day..." Patricia replied, "...he just gave me some sweet food of some sort, said it was a present for me and you, and walked off."

"That cake was from him?" Reimu asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd throw it away..." Patricia said, "...why do you hate him so much?"

"...well, I just don't like the way he acts around you." Reimu replied, "...he's a teacher at the human village as well... I wonder..."

"...what are you trying to say?" Patricia asked.

"...nothing." Reimu shook her head, "Ignore me. Eat your breakfast. But make sure that you see off any youkai when you sweep, _especially _him. Got it?"

"...okay, Reimu..." Patricia mumbled in a forlorn manner.

_The Dawitsu Mansion, eight o'clock ante-meridian_

Throughout the twenty years of ageing that the Dawitsu Mansion had gone through, not much seemed to have changed, bar the lack of a certain presence, a certain someone who had occupied the Mansion and had played a big role in making it what it was today. The owner of the mansion, the youkai mimicker known as Dawitsu, was getting ready in solitude, his face full of sadness.

He was standing in the bathroom, looking at his face. It was clean-shaven, and his hair, although messy, was seemingly alright to look at. Yet Dawitsu couldn't help but sigh to himself.

"...what's wrong with me?" Dawitsu mumbled.

Walking out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, he walked to his bedroom, where Ran was still sleeping. He threw some clothes on, and stopped to look at Ran as she slept.

Kneeling so his face was at her level, he whispered, "...I'm so sorry, Ran. I want... I want it as much as you, but... I can't... I can't... give you what we both want..."

Ran continued to sleep, and Dawitsu stood up, half-glad she hadn't heard what he had said. He put on a teacher's cap, and walked out of the room. The first thing he came across upon exiting the room, however, was the youngest member of the household, Chen.

"Hello, Dawi! What were you saying to Ran-sama just then?" Chen asked.

"...it... it doesn't matter." Dawitsu gulped, "...it's... it's something between Ran and I."

"Oh... but Dawi, I thought you said you wouldn't keep anything secret from me any more..." Chen asked.

"...look, I... I know I said that, but I really... really don't want to talk about it." Dawitsu shook his head, "...let's just say that... I don't think Ran and I will be able to... well, it's like..."

Chen's eyes filled with fear, "Are you and Ran going to divorce or something?"

"N-no! It's nothing like that!" Dawitsu stammered, "Ran and I are happy together, it's... please don't talk to me about it, Chen..."

Dawitsu turned and walked away from Chen, taking the lift down to the foyer, before walking straight out of the house, allowing himself to plummet towards the ground before slowing his fall so as to land on his knees. Landing directly within the Hakurei Shrine grounds, the first thing he saw was a certain thirteen-year-old shrine Maiden, decked up in the red-white attire of her predecessors.

The girl walked up to the youkai, and said, "...Reimu says I have to chase you off..."

Dawitsu laughed, "...oh, I see. Tell her I said hi. Good to see you as always, Patricia."

Patricia shrugged, "...I don't mind you being around. So, where are you headed?"

"...I'm going to go to school. I've got to teach the kids some mathematics, and then some science, and perhaps I can throw in a music lesson in the afternoon so I don't get too bored..." Dawitsu smiled weakly, "...you don't want to know about my life. It's boring as hell. Anything new for Miss Miko of the Hakurei Shrine?"

"...well... no. Apparently some Youkai are set to cause some trouble in the underground, but I'm not sure if that's really my concern or not..." Patricia replied.

"Well, you're a human, right?" Dawitsu replied, "Really, you're the only one qualified for the job. Of course, we could drag old Reimu out for a spin... I'm sure she'd appreciate the nostalgia..." Dawitsu's face suddenly fell.

"...huh? What's wrong?" Patricia asked.

"Humans. They age so quickly..." Dawitsu mumbled.

Patricia didn't quite understand the youkai's meaning, "...well... compared to youkai, I guess, but what are you talking about?"

"...well, what if I told you that I knew Reimu since she was three years older than you are now. She was young-looking, energetic, and a real hard-headed jerk. She had stupid teenage crushes, and a hair-trigger temper, and was so soft and kind underneath it all... and now she's... she's grown up... within those twenty years, I haven't aged at all. I looked just like I do now..." Dawitsu began to tear up, "...and as she gets old, and her skin becomes like paper, I'll still be like this. When you grow up, I'll still be young. Humans age and die while I sit back and watch them grow and wither away... I... don't mean to sound patronising, but... I feel so sorry for you humans..."

Patricia's eyes widened, "...Reimu was wrong about you..."

"...huh? What did she say?" Dawitsu asked.

"...she thinks you're weird around me. I think she thinks that you're... um... you know, one of those creepy guys that like young girls..." Patricia explained.

Dawitsu sighed, "...is that so? Let her think what she likes. I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to you. Good day, Patricia. Perhaps some day, I'll tell you some stories of what we all did before you were born..."

Dawitsu walked away from the shrine, and left the young shrine maiden somewhat dumbfounded. He walked through the forest, feeling like he was truly alone in the world. The topic that was brought up had hit him hard, and he couldn't help but remember the first group of children he had taught. And the second. Third, fourth... every set of children that had grown up, who he had assisted in getting there. His current class was probably a whole generation younger than his first. He couldn't be sure, but Dawitsu thought that Yutaka was bothered by this too. The thought that they could keep teaching until the first class of theirs had died, and be still working. They would be living relics of the human village history, just like Keine Kamishirasawa... the one thing that remained constant, while everything else changed around them.

So lost in thought, he took a good ten seconds to notice that someone was speaking to him. Alice Margatroid was standing beside him, with Medicine hovering by her side, "...Dawitsu? Hello? I'm talking to you..."

Dawitsu turned to look at the puppeteer, "...oh, it's you, Alice. Sorry, I was miles away..."

"It's okay." Alice mused, "...what's on your mind?"

"...what are your thoughts on being a youkai yet being friends with humans? You know, with being human yourself at one point, perhaps you would feel it a little more than me..." Dawitsu replied.

"...feel what?" Alice asked.

"...you know... like the people who you'll come to know will be here one moment and gone the next... then again, you haven't lived as a youkai for all that long, have you?" Dawitsu remarked, "...you're so young compared to me, yet so mature... I guess you're a youkai with the mind of human, just like me..."

Alice smirked, "...are you trying to be philosophical? You could help Byakuren with her column-writing if you want..."

Dawitsu shook his head, "...sorry, I guess I think too much. There's a shrine below me that constantly reminds me of how humans are..."

Medicine hovered so that she was above Alice's left shoulder, and thus closer to Dawitsu, "...the way you're talking makes it seem that you want to age and die like one..."

"Not at all." Dawitsu replied, "...I guess I just... don't like the idea of letting go of my human friends when the time comes. This is first place where I know I can have some permanent friends, but knowing that some will disappear within sixty years upsets me... speaking of which, at some point I've got to visit Sakuya..."

Alice closed her eyes, "...ah. Is that where you're headed?"

"I have a job at the human village, remember?" Dawitsu said, "Thanks for talking to me..."

"...I didn't, really..." Alice replied.

Medicine nodded, "...yeah, it was more like you talked _at _Alice..."

Alice sighed, "...well, I guess sometimes people need to do that. Marisa's looking older now, isn't she?"

"...hmm. You're right. I wonder..." Dawitsu looked up slightly for a moment, and then he stopped walking.

"What is it?" Medicine asked.

"I should start up an incident. An incident which will need the help of Marisa and Reimu to solve... for old times' sake..." Dawitsu answered, "...what do you say? That would be fun, wouldn't it?"

"...well, I guess that could work. What would you do?" Alice asked.

Dawitsu rubbed his chin, "...I... have no idea. Well, I need to get to work now. Perhaps I can get Yutaka to be in on it too..."

Alice smiled, "Well, good luck with that. I think I'm going to go over to the Myouren Temple..."

Dawitsu grinned, "...you and Byakuren, eh? Well, be sure to say hello to Byakuren for me. She is our saviour, after all..."

Alice nodded, "...indeed she is. See you later..."

Dawitsu and Alice continued to walk together towards the human village, and when the two came across the path to the Myouren Temple, Alice split off from Dawitsu, leaving him alone once again.

The mimicker walked to the village school, and walked down the corridor to the staff room. Opening the door, he revealed a spick-and-span room which was filled with comfortable chairs and a pleasant lavender smell. A table lay in the centre of the room, and a certain short, pink-haired magician was sitting at it, transforming an apple into a pear, and then back into an apple.

"...hello, Yutaka..." Dawitsu said with a smile, "...it feels like ages since I last saw you..."

Yutaka looked up at Dawitsu, "...boss, we saw each other yesterday..."

Dawitsu giggled to himself, "...you still haven't broken that habit..."

"What habit?" Yutaka replied.

"Calling me 'boss'..." Dawitsu answered.

"...old habits die hard..." Yutaka remarked, "...so, how are you?"

Dawitsu sighed, "...Ran and I tried again last night..." Dawitsu shook his head, "...it's no good, Yutaka. I know that it won't happen..."

Yutaka looked down, "...I see. Boss, you don't think that I could help you with that, do you? I can manipulate motile cells at an intracellular level now, and Patchy and I were thinking of using these techniques to perhaps..."

Dawitsu sighed, "...well, with you and Patchy it's different. There was no way that you would be able to without resorting to something like that. But me..."

Yutaka looked back up at Dawitsu, "...look, it's not like you'd be less of a man because of this. I have a set idea of how it would work. You get a fresh adult cell from each person, you take out the nuclei, and you..."

Dawitsu shook his head, "...no thanks, Yutaka. Still, I'm glad I can talk to you about this..."

Yutaka smiled, "...any time, boss. Any time."

Dawitsu smirked, "Still, you calling me boss feels funny. If anyone's your boss, it's Keine..."

"Yeah, well..." Yutaka shrugged, "...it'd be strange for me to address anyone other than you as 'boss'. You'll always be boss to me..."

Dawitsu sighed, "...I guess we'll always be friends, huh?"

Yutaka nodded, "...always."

After a brief moment of silence, a portly man with black hair walked in, and sat down at the table, "...hello, Mrs Hadekawa and Mr Dawitsu..."

Yutaka smiled to herself, "...Hideki, it's okay to call me Yutaka now..."

Hideki stopped for a moment, before saying, "...I guess. I still feel a little strange being called 'Mr Kobayashi' if I'm honest..."

Dawitsu got up, and sighed, "It's gonna be a long day today, I can feel it..."

"What do you reckon Miss Kamishirasawa has planned for today?" Hideki asked.

"Well, I got Maths and Science. You?" Dawitsu asked.

"...I don't know. I lost my schedule..." Hideki replied.

Yutaka folded her arms behind her head, "...ah... I see. Well, it's fortunate I have a copy of it for you, isn't it, Hideki?"

Yutaka rummaged in her pocket, and provided a folded sheet of paper, "...here you are..."

Hideki smiled, and took the paper, "...you're a life saver..."

Reading the piece of paper, he gulped, "Oh, crap! I'm meant to be teaching English at nine! Gotta go, see ya!"

Hideki dashed from the staff room, and Dawitsu laughed, "...he was never this forgetful as a kid..."

Yutaka turned to Dawitsu, "...you've been thinking about that again, haven't you? Well, Boss, I've got to teach girl's physical education, so I'll see you later..."

Dawitsu smirked, almost wanting to make a joke about staying with Yutaka to watch her playing sports, but something stopped him. He was a married man now, and there was no way he could do it without joking, and even joking about that sort of thing was getting old for him. He eventually said, "...see you later. Say, at lunch, I have a proposition for you..."

Yutaka cocked her head as she got up, "Oh?"

"...I'll tell you then..." Dawitsu replied, "...you get to your class. My first one's at ten anyway..."

Yutaka began to walk away, "I see. Goodbye for now!"

"...goodbye, Yutaka..." Dawitsu mumbled as she left the room, "...I hope you're happy where you are..."

_Tokage Reiketsu's House, Mayohiga, ten o'clock ante-meridian_

The cluttered, possession-filled house of Tokage Reiketsu seemed to be falling apart at its hinges. Although the owner of the house was now a prominent figure in Mayohiga, the house itself was suffering from neglect, the reason being that throughout the twenty years that had passed, Tokage had finally found her niche in the writing world. Not one to let her fans down, it seemed that all she ever did was eat, sleep, and write, and within twenty years she had written thirty novels, all more or less the same genre, but always having something unique to offer.

This was as much as the public of Mayohiga knew. The truth was a little different. The real secret to her success was little more than a friend, someone who, while talented, preferred to stay out of the limelight.

As Tokage rested her head on her writing desk, sleeping under the warm glow of a paraffin lamp, Hebiko 'Bimyouna' was flitting through Tokage's notepad, and making the necessary adjustments, even leaving little notes to Tokage stating where she had gone wrong. Of course, this didn't change Tokage's attitude, a fact she was well aware of ages ago, but she felt that if she didn't keep trying, then there'd be no point to her editing.

"...and he lay next to me, gently kissing my neck upwards until he reached my lips, his soft lips touching mine..." Hebiko read out loud, and then rubbed out a word, "...hmm, that's a little redundant. I know..."

Hebiko rubbed out the whole sentence fragment, and replaced it with 'and he lay next to me, his soft lips gently kissing my neck, working upwards until they met my own'. Hebiko smirked, "...much better. Now, let's see... wake up, Mara, he said in a caring voice, I want to see your beautiful eyes once again. I blushed, keeping my eyes shut. I look terrible in the mornings, I said quietly, my insecurity seemingly false yet belying true insecurity. He slowly stroked my cheek... I think you look beautiful without make-up, he comforted, there is no way you could look terrible..."

Hebiko broke out of narrative, "...oh, that's actually quite sweet... maybe she is getting better after all..."

Deciding to walk out of the house, Hebiko put the notepad down, and left a small note saying, 'This section was good. Pillow-talk is the most romantic part of a story if done right. Oh, and thanks for the skewered locusts yesterday. They were delicious. Kind regards, Hebiko.'

Following through with her decision, she walked back towards her house, the streets of Mayohiga seeming closer to those of a deserted city than a bustling village, due to the time of day. Looking over the eerily quiet village, Hebiko mused, "...something's changed... I can't quite put my finger on it..."

A voice interrupted her out-loud thoughts, "...the state of Mayohiga changes depending on the condition of the Hakurei Border..."

Hebiko turned to the voice, and jumped at the sight of Yukari Yakumo herself, standing and looking at the sky while her Oni Shikigami stood dutifully beside her.

"Um... Miss Border Youkai? Why are you speaking to me?" Hebiko asked.

"...I don't know." Yukari replied, "...anyway, that's the reason things are so quiet recently. The Hakurei Border has been stable for some time now. I remember when people were using it willy-nilly to go in and out of this place..."

"...this place?" Hebiko questioned, not quite understanding her meaning.

"...Gensokyo. The only time the border will weaken is when I or the Hakurei Shrine Maiden wishes for it. Although I don't think the current shrine maiden would be able to do that..." Yukari rubbed her chin, "...it's strange, I usually move on from the idea that a Hakurei Shrine Maiden's been replaced with a new one fairly quickly. Yet I still see the Miko of the Hakurei Shrine as Reimu. Why is that? Do you think it's because she's still alive?"

Hebiko scratched her head, "...I don't know why you're asking me. I don't know about these sort of things."

"...the last time a person transferred from the outside world to Gensokyo was around thirteen years ago... that is, the child I gave to Reimu to raise. She looks so different now, does Reimu. She... she's tall, she's more intelligent. I don't know if she's happy or not, but things in Mayohiga have been calm since that day." Yukari mused, "...I guess she wouldn't have had time to want to bring anyone into Gensokyo. And recently, I cannot think of anyone from the outside world to take to Gensokyo. No-one seems to interest me over there any more. The world outside is a secular one, one with no belief in the supernatural. However, there will always be a spirit of Gensokyo within that world... their seeking of entertainment through the supernatural. All things that are real in Gensokyo... they are tales over there. Legends. Things that make them happy. And perhaps... perhaps there will be hope over there after all. There will be more people to take..."

Hebiko didn't really know what to say, "...are... are you okay?"

Yukari sighed, "...Gensokyo will eventually die. There are facts that I know about Gensokyo that others do not. All good things come to an end. Think of it... think of it as those books you write..."

Hebiko blushed, "...I... I don't write books. You've got the wrong lizard..."

"...you do write books, and that lazy cretin takes all the credit." Yukari replied, "Anyway, if you think of Gensokyo as a tale, a tale written by one man in the outside world... that man will eventually have to end the tale. One cannot keep writing indefinitely. And even if the tale never ends, he will eventually die himself, and although the story will not have been concluded, this world will become stagnant. However, hope lies for Gensokyo..."

"What are you talking about? So you're saying we're all just part of a story that will eventually come to an end, yet there's still hope? How can there be?" Hebiko asked.

"...people like Tokage and yourself exist. That is the hope. People like you within this universe can do but nothing, but in the outside world, there are many people. People who see a universe, and wish to alter it to their own whims. Desires. They want this universe to tell their tale. And as long as someone like that, somewhere sees this universe as desirable, then Gensokyo will not become stagnant." Yukari held up her parasol, "...it's about to rain."

Hebiko let Yukari's silent shikigami take a spot underneath the parasol, while she stood, waiting for the rain to fall on her. Finally, a moist mist filled the air, and Hebiko turned her head to Yukari, "...why are you telling me all this?"

"...because I need someone to tell it to. It'd be useless for me to tell my shikigami, because she already knows most of what I know..." Yukari replied, "...also, I imagine you're not doing anything important today, are you?"

"...admittedly, no." Hebiko replied, "...however, I still need to do something today..."

"Ah." Yukari twirled her parasol ever so slightly, "I see. Well, it was pleasant talking to you. Not many people are as patient as you..."

Hebiko smirked, "...well, I've had to deal with Tokage all my life..."

"...fair enough." Yukari replied, "...goodbye for now, lizard. You're proof that animals can be intelligent..."

"...I'll try to take that as a compliment." Hebiko mused, before walking back to her house.

She opened her front door, quickly went into her living room, picked up some flowers from a vase, and walked back out of her house, heading towards the Forest of Magic. For what reason, no-one knew, but whatever the reason, Hebiko certainly felt this task was greater in priority than listening to confusing monologues from the Border Youkai. Hebiko still didn't quite know what she meant, but could tell that, at least to her, it was somewhat serious...

_Marisa's House, the Forest of Magic, twelve noon_

The house of Marisa Kirisame, the ordinary magician of Gensokyo, was the same cluttered mess it always was. Even though twenty years had passed, and in theory, Marisa had developed enough as a person to organise the myriads of items she had 'acquired' throughout her life, the fact was that she simply couldn't.

Unlike Reimu, who, mainly thanks to Yukari forcing a child upon her, had grown up significantly, Marisa was still very much the same person as she was twenty years ago, albeit taller, with a far more grown-up, less pudgy-looking face. As such, she still very much enjoyed going on adventures, and was currently in her kitchen, thinking of going out to 'borrow' from Patchouli and Yutaka's house.

Stopping to plan her outing, she pondered over the situation, a practice that she admittedly had gained from growing up. Yutaka would be out, working at the Human Village. Patchouli would normally be either staying inside, reading and doing the housework. Marisa giggled at that. That the once arrogant, self-declared intellectual had become something of a house-wife. However, Patchouli could have also been donating at the Moriya Shrine, which would leave the house alone, but with a locked door, and Marisa couldn't afford to leave remains of a break-in. At any rate, it was an opportune time to leave at the moment, as only one magician would be there, not two.

Marisa instinctively said, "Jean! I'm going out!" before stopping and sighing to herself, "Oh yeah... he's with that Byakuren chick at the moment. Stupid Buddhist Priest..."

Whistling, she waited for her broom to come to her, mounted it, and sped out of her house, cackling to herself in a far more witch-like manner than her teenage self, "Come on, world! I have six different spells waiting to fry you up for lunch!"

The way was hardly fraught with danger, with a few fairies blocking the foot of youkai mountain, but nothing to scream about. At least, not until a certain God of relatively low threat came flying past Marisa, shouting, "QUICK! GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE! MY SISTER'S ON A RAMPAGE AGAIN!"

Marisa recognised the autumn leaf coloured dress of the Goddess in question, and knew full well who the sister of the Goddess was. It was the now mighty, fear-inspiring Minoriko Aki, who had, within the twenty years, taken up the title of Goddess of feasts, harvests, seasons, and the passage of time itself. And what was more, that sister happened to be close enough to see Marisa, and call out to her.

"Who dares set foot on my territory?" a grand-sounding voice declared, "Cower before the mountain's grand guardian!"

Marisa turned towards the voice to see the former weakling, who had taken to wearing rather ridiculous sunglasses in an attempt to look intimidating, "...oh, is Aya Shameimaru coming here? I'm cowering in fear..."

"THE GUARDIAN IS ME!" Minoriko declared, "I protect this mountain from trespassers like you! NONE SHALL PASS!"

Marisa scratched her head, "Um... seriously, you've taken up that job? You do know there's like, a whole bunch of Tengu just a little further up that will more than protect the mountain from any real threat, right? I'm just a little human, can't you let me go?"

"No." Aki declared, placing her hands on her hips, "You haven't seen me since you beat me all those years ago, right? I'd forget who you were if it weren't for the fact that I'm a God, and know every potential worshipper when I see one. Now, give me a sake offering and I'll let you go!"

Marisa laughed, "...look, I trounced you last time, even with that little time-stop trinket you used, what makes you think you can beat me again?"

"I'm no longer just a God with a time stopping trinket. I now have officially become a Goddess of Time! You stand no chance!" Minoriko teleported to the left, as if to prove a point.

"...um... I think I do stand a chance. Sorry, I'm gonna go right past now and..." Marisa began to say, but was cut off by a loud call.

"TIME SIGN: SEASONAL IMBALANCE!" Aki screamed.

The God began phasing from location to location as what seemed to be orange flowers of danmaku began to grow from the ground, before a chilly wind became apparent, and the flowers thus became blue, and shattered into many tiny pieces, all of which were razor sharp and capable of a little more than scratching the human witch, who was easily dodging the attack, but was having a hard time keeping her aim at the God.

"Damn it... stay still! Why don't you show me some real attacks instead of just keeping up a stalemate?" Marisa shouted.

The response was that Aki continued the assault, but added her trademark slow-moving lasers to the attack as punishment for Marisa's supposed insolence. However, this attack was originating from her, which gave Marisa a good idea of where the God was, and from there, she could deduce a certain pattern to her movement. The witch adjusted her dodging pattern accordingly, and before long, Aki gave up on that attack, and moved cleanly onto the next one.

"Bumper Crop: Seven year's worth of harvest!" Aki declared, and began firing countless grains of rice out from herself.

Marisa could tell the God was frustrated, as she had stopped teleporting, and had simply focused on filling the area with projectiles. But despite this, Marisa was quite simply dodging the attack, occasionally moving a tiny amount to the side, but not moving too much, as it was not really necessary, nor was it particularly safe to do so. The more Marisa attacked Aki, the more bullets filed the air. She began to fire lasers, became increasingly red-faced, and eventually fell from the sky as she took one bullet too many.

Marisa shook her head, "Wow, she's really got an ego problem. I wonder what that Kanako Goddess thinks of it all?"

Half expecting Kanako to appear and tell her herself, Marisa waited a small while before continuing with her journey. Finally, she got to her target location; a small house by the river the kappa population of the mountain called home.

She stopped flying forwards, slowly descended, dismounted her broom, and put it by a nearby tree. She tiptoed towards the house, and gingerly touched the door handle. Gently opening it, she soundlessly entered the house, shutting the door in the quietest manner possible.

She had become familiar with the house's layout. The basement was where all the books were kept, that and a few tables, and a tank full of electric eels that powered the lights in the house. However, Patchouli was most likely sat at a table in there, reading, and one of the tables happened to be rather close to the entrance. Marisa's next move would be a pure gamble. Walking down the stairs into the basement, Marisa winced as she opened the solitary door to Yutaka and Patchouli's underground library.

However, no-one seemed to respond. Marisa smirked, and ran into the library. She kept light on her feet, in case there still was someone there, but as she approached the nearest bookcase, there was nary a whisper indicating Patchouli's presence. She browsed the bookcase, and found one that appealed to her.

"Hmm. Scenery Manipulation; the broader implications of the practice and higher-level manipulation of the surroundings, by Yutaka Hadekawa. Well, the first bit seems boring, but I always like high-level stuff... wait, she wrote that herself? Damn..." Marisa sniggered to herself, "...it's gonna be a shame, but you're coming with me!"

Marisa picked up the book, which swiftly sported a huge mouth and growled, opening up so as to bite the witch, however, Marisa was too quick for the monster, and recited a spell that caused it to revert back to normal, and then placed it under her top.

"Hmph. They're still using their old tricks? How lame. I guess that I'm one step ahead of them now..." Marisa mumbled, "...I wonder where Patchouli is. It's kinda creepy when the library's empty like this..."

The witch walked towards the exit of the library, more than happy with herself. However, when she began to ascend the stairs to the ground level, she felt a little odd.

"...um... was the staircase this big last time?" Marisa asked, stepping on the first stair. She continued climbing the stairs, and by the time she got half-way up the staircase, the distance she had to climb seemed to increase.

Trying not to get a little worried about the situation, Marisa began to run up the stairs, and the stairs that were appearing above her simply become apparent at an even greater rate. Finally, she stopped, gasping for air. She turned around, and froze as she noticed that the length of the stairs going downwards was as short as half the original length of the staircase.

"...w-what the hell?" Marisa asked herself, before stopping and thinking a little more, "...oh crap..."

Patchouli walked into view, standing just past the door into the library, "...hello, Marisa. What brings you here?"

"Oh..." Marisa began to laugh nervously, "...hello... Patchy. How's Yutaka? Are you guys okay? I was just coming to visit you, that's all..."

Patchouli played along with the human's pathetic act, and said, "...oh, how heart-warming. I recently developed a magical system which prevents book theft. Basically, anyone who leaves with a book from this library on their person activates a special familiar that manipulates the nature of the stairs back up into the main house. Isn't that something?"

Marisa sweat-dropped, "...um... yeah, that is something..."

"You seem to be having trouble leaving the library." Patchouli replied, "...you wouldn't happen to have accidentally picked up a book when you decided to stop looking for me down here, did you?"

Marisa gulped, "...n-no, not at all, Patchouli! The stairs... just went like that themselves, honestly! I think your familiar's a little bit disobedient."

"Oh. That's strange, because it's a machine with a magical attachment. It should never go wrong." Patchouli said, keeping deadpan as she approached Marisa, "Look, just hand it over."

Marisa quivered, and said, "...um... er..."

Suddenly, as if overcome by pure immaturity, Marisa took the book she was stealing out from under her top, and threw it at Patchouli before bolting up the stairs. However, despite the mechanical familiar had stopped manipulating the scenery, Patchouli had taken up the role of staircase extender, and soon Marisa gave up trying to run away, and said, "...you're not gonna let me go, are ya?"

Patchouli shook her head, "...not after that stunt, no."

Marisa shuddered, "...what are you going to do to me? Creepy things? I mean, you're currently holding me against my will in a basement. That's sort of creepy..."

Patchouli walked up to Marisa's level on the stairs, and grabbed her by the collar, "...I'm not going to do anything to you. The electric eels, on the other hand, are very hungry, and would probably be hungry enough to eat human meat. So, I'll just throw you in their tank, and they can do all the things you're expecting me to do to you..."

Marisa fell silent, but managed to squeak out one syllable, "...Jean."

Patchouli looked at Marisa with a confused look on her face, "...Jean? What kind of word is Jean to say in desperation? Hold on, did you honestly think I was going to kill you? I wonder why you'd say that guy's name when..." Patchouli stopped talking, and began to giggle, "...oh... I see how it is..."

Marisa's face fell, "...you see what?"

"...I see what's going on. You're in love with that grey-haired human man?" Patchouli smirked, "...oh my, to be thinking of him in your final hours..."

Marisa blushed, "...please kill me..."

Patchouli let go of the witch, and walked back down into the basement, picking up Yutaka's book from the floor as she did, "...even if I was going to do that, I wouldn't any more. I will remind you that I live rather close to the houses of certain newspaper reporters, ones which love gossip just like this... I'm going to let you go, Marisa. Go on. The stairs are back to normal. Go... frolic in the fields, or whatever humans do."

"...uh..." Marisa turned to Patchouli, "You're... not going to tell those tengu anything, are you?"

Patchouli turned around, and put on an obviously false smile evocative of Yutaka's, but with the wrong type of face to wear it, "...well, I'm a house-wife now, aren't I? I never, _ever _go out of the house apart from to give due respect to Kanako Yasaka and Suwako Moriya. I simply don't have time for salacious gossip..."

Marisa sighed, "...I know you're lying."

"You're so perceptive. Now please, get out of my library, or I do believe the eels' hunger will be too much for them to bear and they'll leap out of their tank just for you..." Patchouli said, keeping up her grin.

Marisa couldn't tell if the threat was genuine or not, but in order to be safe, she simply went along with her request, and bolted up the stairs. She left the house feeling a strange uncleanness that adhered to her psyche like mud on a shoe, and whistled for her broom so she could go home.

The journey back was thankfully free of power-mad weaklings acting mighty, and she got home, opening the door and rushing for the nearest sofa in her study. She threw herself onto the applicable sofa without thinking, and felt something unlike a cushion underneath her posterior.

The thing that was unlike a cushion was Jean's chest, and the formerly sleeping owner of said chest awoke, shouting, "Sacrebleau! Que dans le monde?"

Marisa quickly stood up, and said, "Jean? What are you doing here?"

Jean sat up, and rubbed his tired-looking eyes, "...I am sorry... I thought that you read my note saying that I would be back by one in the afternoon..."

"...I did, but I didn't believe it..." Marisa mumbled.

"...what did you say?" Jean replied.

"Never mind." Marisa dismissed, "...so, you have fun being a Buddhist and all that crap?"

"...I actually taught a number of the human followers today..." the greying man replied, "...I am so glad that the human village is beginning to accept Byakuren as a religious leader. I guess I have a part in that, being human myself. I can understand why people would be afraid of a temple filled with the youkai, even if they are kind people..."

"...I see. So, you wanna come to Reimu's with me?" Marisa asked.

Jean rubbed his bristly chin, "...I am very sleepy... but if you wish. Where have you been today?"

Marisa turned red, "...oh, nowhere in particular."

"You do not seem so sure..." Jean stated the obvious.

"Oh, no. Nothing happened. It's just been a boring old day for Marisa Kirisame..." the witch lamented her false boredom, "...so, wanna go now or later?"

"...we shall go now, if you wish..." Jean replied, "But if it is okay, I am going to change out of these clothes..."

Seeing as he was wearing a Buddhist robe, the choice was a pretty logical one considering he would be visiting a Shinto Shrine. Jean walked upstairs, and shut the bedroom door which was now indisputably his, and after a short delay, Marisa walked upstairs also, and walked up to the bedroom door, trying to look through the somewhat mangled keyhole.

The effort was futile, however, and she rushed downstairs before Jean was finished changing. By the time he was done, the Frenchman in origin only walked downstairs to see Marisa whistling in an overly innocuous manner by the door, and opened his mouth to say something before being interrupted.

"Should we go, Jean?" Marisa quickly said.

Jean examined the witch's face, and stopped for a moment, before saying, "...is there something wrong?"

"...nothing, just thinking about certain offers made in the past, that's all..." Marisa replied without thinking.

"...what do you..." Jean began to ask, before he was once again interrupted.

"...nothing! Just ignore what I said..." Marisa said, "...come on, we should get going."

Jean sighed. He knew exactly what she was referring to, and he couldn't exactly say he hadn't been thinking about it as well. Marisa had matured into a fine woman, one who was still very much fun-loving and young at heart, yet every time Jean felt through his greying hair, he was reminded of the fact that despite their ages, forty-three and thirty-six was still a rather large age gap. Not only that, but he wasn't sure that he really wanted such a relationship with Marisa. It was like he valued her too much as a friend to see her in a romantic way.

"...we shall talk about this later." Jean mused.

"...it's always later with you, isn't it?" Marisa asked.

"...you were the one who said you wanted to go to the Hakurei Shrine." Jean replied, "Do you want to talk about this now?"

Marisa squirmed at Jean's question, "...um... actually, no. Sorry I brought it up."

"...do not be sorry. I have been dodging this for a while as well..." Jean replied.

Marisa sighed, "...um... we... could... try it, couldn't we?"

"...what? Just like that?" Jean asked.

"I dunno. We could be all hand-holding and stuff on the way to the Hakurei Shrine, and if it ain't awkward, take it from there..." Marisa suggested.

"...it will be awkward, though. I just know it..." Jean replied.

"...come on, let's just try it..." Marisa said, "...right, um..." Marisa opened the door, "...we'll just walk there, okay?"

"...this is not a good idea..." Jean replied.

"...but so what if it isn't? We're still friends regardless, right? Come on, let's go..." Marisa said, "...here."

Marisa extended her hand, and Jean took hold of it. Marisa laughed, "Your hands are so coarse... oh, Jean, you're an old man now!"

"Look who is talking!" Jean replied, "Is that a wrinkle I see?"

Marisa used her other hand to feel her face worriedly, "...ah! No... I don't really have one, do I?"

Jean smirked, "Does it matter?"

"It does to me!" Marisa replied, keeping her hand holding Jean's, "Anyway, are we gonna walk or what? I thought this was romantic or something. Last time I try to be mushy..."

"You broke your promise last time you said that..." Jean mused.

"...just... I preferred you when you spoke French every time you had something snarky to say..." Marisa muttered.

The two walked out of the house, holding hands as if they had been chained together rather than as a couple.

"This isn't awkward, right?" Marisa said, obviously not believing a word being said.

"Not at all." Jean lied.

"Good." Marisa replied, pausing for about a minute before she said, "Wanna stop?"

"Yes." Jean quickly replied.

The two stopped holding hands, and spent about five minutes walking together in silence. Marisa occasionally looked Jean's way, and Jean looked away ever so slightly when she did.

Finally, Marisa said, "...sorry. That was dumb of me. You were right. We shouldn't have tried it."

"It was worth a try." Jean muttered.

"Well, I can only imagine how awkward it'd be if we were to kiss or something, eh, Jean?" Marisa replied.

Jean nodded, "Yes. It would be awkward."

Marisa sighed, and repeated her sentence with added emphasis, "_I SAID _'I can only imagine how awkward it'd be if we were to to kiss or something, _eh, Jean_'?"

Jean looked away from Marisa, "...yes. And I agree."

Marisa became angry, and grabbed Jean by the arm, "Kiss me, you fool!"

Jean stepped away from Marisa, "...the answer is no."

Marisa slowly let go of Jean's arm, and sighed, "...no? But... but I thought it was awkward because we were doing something so clichéd..."

Jean couldn't quite keep eye contact, "No. It was awkward because I did not want to do it..."

Marisa's heart went into her throat, "...I... see."

Marisa looked down, not quite sure what to say. Jean was equally uncomfortable with the situation, and was wondering whether he was too harsh in the way he treated her.

Marisa finally got round to saying something, "I almost died today..."

Jean turned to Marisa, "Huh? I thought you simply had a boring day today..."

Marisa sweat-dropped, "Well, I sort of nearly died. I don't know if she was being serious or not..."

"Oh, I see." Jean replied, "You tried to steal from somewhere, and the owner threatened you with death?"

"Wow, you're right!" Marisa replied, glad she could change the subject, "I decided to steal from Patchy and Yutaka, but they have some lame system in place that stops me from stealing from them..."

"I thought you had outwitted them..." Jean said, before the responsible side of his personality kicked in, "...I mean, you should not steal from them, Marisa. Do you not know that greed is a major cause of the suffering?"

"Yeah, yeah, stupid Buddhist with your stupid 'possessions are meaningless' talk. I'm only there to steal knowledge, and isn't that the most precious resource to Buddhists? You know, enlightenment and all that crap?" Marisa asked.

"Enlightenment and using knowledge to further your own power are two separate things..." Jean replied.

"Yet both you and Byakuren have used magic to make yourselves more powerful..." Marisa mused, "...I smell a hypocrite..."

"That is not true!" Jean replied, "You allowed me to use your knowledge to further my own power, and I am sure Byakuren did not steal from anyone to gain the powers that she has... you, however, are stealing from others to further yourself..."

Marisa shrugged her shoulders, "Sorry, grandpa. Anyway, that dumb house-wife, Patchouli found me and threatened to throw me into her eel tank. That, and she locked me in with some kind of everlasting staircase trick. Anyway, I was really frightened, and then Patchouli found something out that... oh crap..."

"What happened?" Jean asked, "Why are you worried?"

Marisa sweat-dropped, "Um... if anything is published in the Bunbunmaru Spirit News or whatever it's called this time, and it happens to be about me, just ignore it, okay?"

Jean scratched his head, "So... Miss Shameimaru was there?"

"Not exactly..."

"Miss Himekaidou?" Jean asked, proud of his perfect pronunciation of the surname.

"...no, a reporter wasn't there. It's just that Patchouli lives so close to the Tengu, and she may have got the wrong end of the stick about something I said and may or may not have decided to report it to the Tengu..." Marisa explained vaguely.

"...so, what did she misinterpret?" Jean cluelessly inquired.

"...it's nothing. It's not true, anyway..." Marisa replied.

"If that is the case, you should be able to say it..." Jean replied, "...is there some secret that I do not know about you?"

Marisa squirmed, "Well, um, it's... sort of about what we just tried... sorry for bringing that up again... I... sort of... said your name when I thought I was going to die... please don't take that the wrong way, it's just that..."

Jean smiled warmly, his aged face creasing where his facial muscles were, "...Marisa, it is okay. You can be with me... on one condition."

"...w-what's that?" Marisa asked, suddenly excited at the prospect.

"...that you stop stealing things and become a Buddhist..." Jean replied.

Marisa sighed, "...that's two conditions. You drive a hard bargain, Jean..."

Jean smirked, "So, what do you say?"

Marisa stopped, and thought for a moment. Jean could see she was genuinely thinking of refusing the offer, and decided to interrupt her train of thought, "...you had to think about it, so thus you are not ready."

"Huh?"

"...the conditions I gave were a test, to see if you were willing to change your ways for me..." Jean replied, "...of course, I do not actually want you to change your ways..."

Marisa grinned, and said, "...oh, you don't, eh? Why is that?" before noticing he had just been messing around with her, "...wait, you were just toying with me, weren't you?"

"Not at all." Jean replied, "I was merely testing if you were sincere about me..."

"Why does that matter?" Marisa asked.

"...I am an old man now, as you said..." Jean replied, "...anyone who I should get with should be for life, is that not right? Anyway, we are approaching the Hakurei Shrine, I am sure that young Patricia does not want to see this kind of discussion..."

Marisa nodded, "...fair enough. Say, she's getting to look a little like Reimu, isn't she?"

"I think that may be the outfit..." Jean replied.

The two human magicians walked onto the shrine grounds, and were surprised to see that the current shrine maiden, Patricia Hakurei, was outside, performing some kind of ritual over the small fountain on the grounds.

Once she was done chanting, she turned to the witch and her friend, "...oh! Hello, Aunty Marisa and Uncle Jean. How's things?"

Marisa and Jean blushed, and looked at each other, and spoke in unison, "...um... fine."

Patricia rubbed her chin, "...hmm. You two are acting weird. I'll get Reimu for you. She's currently sleeping... she's getting really lazy lately..."

"That's Reimu..." Marisa remarked.

Patricia shrugged her shoulders, "Well, it can't be helped, for the time being, anyway. I'm sure that once she recovers from all of the sleepless nights she suffered when I was a child, she'll be less lazy..."

Marisa smirked, "So _that's _her excuse? Pretty lame if you ask me... I mean, you're, like, fifteen now, right?"

Jean stopped Marisa, and whispered into her ear, "...she is thirteen."

"Thirteen! Thirteen, I mean. You're thirteen now, right? She shouldn't still be recovering from that. She's just making it up." Marisa dismissively said.

"Well, I'm pretty forgiving of it. I mean, she still raised me, didn't she?" Patricia said in a particularly bright tone, "...anyway, do you guys want to come in?"

Jean smiled, "That would be wonderful, Patricia. You are getting taller every time I see you..."

Patricia smirked, "...you're embarrassing me, Uncle Jean..."

"Embarrassing you in front of who? I'm the only other person here, and I agree..." Marisa quickly parried.

The three walked into the house of the Hakurei Shrine, and closed the door behind them. They didn't know it, but the fact that Reimu, Marisa, and Jean had been gathered together in such a manner, despite being purely down to chance, was coinciding perfectly with a certain youkai's plans...


	2. The Epilogue- Part 2

Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue

**Time passes, even in Gensokyo- part 2**

_Keine's Village School, the human village, almost three o'clock post-meridian_

At the village school, home-time was rapidly approaching, and it seemed as if the whole populace of the school were one giant, coiled spring, waiting to be released at the due time.

Dawitsu was teaching a little English Literature, and was too steeped in his flow to notice the time as he interpreted a segment of Romeo and Juliet.

"So, as you can see, kids, Mercutio saying 'a plague o' both your houses' was not him cursing the feud for leading to his death, as o' is a shortening for 'of', not 'on'.Therefore, what he is saying is that the feud in itself is destructive to both sides, carrying on through the generations, spreading through the city of Verona like a plague of..." Dawitsu rambled, boring the students to tears.

However, before Dawitsu could continue his no doubt pretentious and faux-insightful discussion, the school's bell stopped him in his tracks, leaving his students relieved that they could escape the lecture none the wiser.

As the children began to stand up, Dawitsu stammered, "...w-wait, I'm not done yet! I'm your teacher! I have to dismiss you first!"

The children ignored him, however, and continued to leave the classroom while Dawitsu stared with his mouth agape at the insubordinate nature of the class. Once the room was empty, he sat down at his desk for a short while, and picked up the single red apple that had been placed on his desk. Taking a bite out of it, he mumbled, "...well, at least one kid likes me."

Waiting around a little longer, knowing that Yutaka's class would inevitably run over-time, Dawitsu finally left his classroom and walked down the corridor, and waited for the crowd of pupils to leave Yutaka's classroom before he did the opposite himself.

"Hi, Yutaka." Dawitsu said as he entered the room, "...so, what do you think of the idea I told you at lunch? We can't do it without you..."

Yutaka smirked, "...wow, you're excited about this, aren't you? You got straight to the point..."

"So what if I am excited about it?" Dawitsu replied, "...I think I can get Ran in on it, too. Hmm... now that I think about it, two scenery manipulators would be good... you don't suppose..."

"...Patchouli could be in on it too?" Yutaka finished the mimicker's sentence, "I was thinking the exact same thing. We could all work together on this... it'll be fun!"

Dawitsu giggled with glee, "...oh, this is too cool! I can't believe we're actually gonna be doing this again! All together as a family... uh... group of friends or whatever..."

"...so, should we go to the Scarlet Devil Mansion first, or my house?" Yutaka asked, clearly wanting to plan this out a little more than her older, supposedly more mature friend.

"The Scarlet Devil Mansion, of course!" Dawitsu answered, "We've got to make sure Flandre knows exactly what's happening, and what she'll have to do as part of the plan..."

Yutaka caused her hands to regress back into her sleeves, and began to snigger in a poor attempt at a maniacal laugh, "...oh, this is just like the old days... I might have to wear my old outfit for nostalgic reasons..."

Dawitsu sighed, "...well, they're still in the mansion. I never threw them away. Ran tried to make me, but there was no way I was giving them up..."

Yutaka shrugged her shoulders, "...you could have just brought them to us. I would probably have worn them every now and then. Anyway, should we carry this plan forwards?"

Dawitsu nodded, "Yes. Yes! And once again, Gensokyo will remember the great and mighty thief of the floating mansion, the mysterious mimicker, the cretinous copycat, the..."

The classroom door opened midway through Dawitsu's ham-filled speech, and made him lose his train of thought. Dawitsu and Yutaka looked at the entrance to see Keine, who looked the situation over, before saying, "...I don't know what you're up to, but whatever it is, don't do it here. I'm going to lock the doors as I leave the school, so you have to leave now. Don't you usually get out of here as fast as you can?"

Dawitsu sweat-dropped, "N-not at all, Miss Kamishirasawa! I find my job refreshing and entertaining! I would never be bored enough that I'd look forward to the day ending..."

Yutaka turned slightly red, as, to some extent, she genuinely felt the way Dawitsu was blatantly lying about feeling, "...well, I usually leave promptly, but Mr Dawitsu doesn't usually stop by my classroom at home-time..."

"Oh, so you're shifting the blame, eh, Yutaka?" Dawitsu remarked, "...well, whatever, we need to get going, anyway..."

Yutaka nodded, and the two walked out of the building at the insistence of their boss. Walking towards the lake that separated the likes of the Forest of Magic's residents and the Human Villagers from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it wasn't long before they broke into a gentle, slow flight pattern.

Dawitsu turned to Yutaka, "Do you remember doing this for the first time? Oh, it's really nostalgic, isn't it? It's almost like if I were to meet you for the first time all over again!"

Yutaka nodded despite she knew that Dawitsu would probably keep reiterating how nostalgic this plan was over and over again ad nauseum, "...yes, it is rather good to remember..."

"Ah... the past is good. I dunno, people say you shouldn't live in the past, but we youkai are sort of the embodiments of the past to humans, aren't we?" Dawitsu began to wax philosophical, but was thankfully brought to a halt by something freezing him where he floated.

Dawitsu fell so that he was a mere cube of ice bobbing up and down on the lake, and Yutaka floated downwards in concern, "Boss! Are you alright? What's happened?"

A diminutive, brash voice responded to the magician, and declared, "...I happened! It's me! The strongest of them all! Now, can you look away so that I can freeze you too? If I catch two fully grown youkai, I'll be no doubt seen as the greatest fairy in all of Gensokyo!"

Yutaka turned to the source of the noise, and saw it was none other than the ice fairy herself, Cirno. Not wanting to start a fight, she floated to the side to avoid her freezing attack before saying, "If it isn't too much trouble, I want to access the mansion across this lake, and I'd like to take my friend with me, so if you'll kindly move, I won't have to use the fire spells I know to attack you. I'll just use them to thaw my friend out, and we can get going. Does that seem fair?"

"But... but what does that leave me?" Cirno somewhat legitimately asked.

"...well, you won't get hurt this way..." Yutaka replied, "And the lake's ecosystem will be less damaged if I don't have to attack you. The ecosystem is the very thing that allows fairies such as yourself to exist, so it's in your interest that you don't..."

Yutaka failed to finish her sentence, however, as the anti-intellectual Cirno did not have the patience to listen to how Yutaka could effectively wipe out the fairy population of the lake in one fell swoop, and decided that actions spoke louder than idle threats, and thus Yutaka shared the same fate as Dawitsu- as an ice-cube floating on the lake.

Cirno put her hands to her hips, "Ha ha ha! Now no-one will be able to deny that I am the strongest! I've been wanting to catch two smart youkai for a while... people stop thinking you're awesome for catching the dumb ones like that darkness youkai..."

Cirno floated around the two cubes for a while, wondering what she was going to do with them next. She looked around for any friends that she could show her catch of the day off to, but no-one seemed to float by the area. She finally stopped floating, and sat on top of the cube containing Dawitsu, cupping her chin in her hands, "...this is stupid. Not one person's showed up..."

Cirno looked up a little, and saw a silhouette in the distance, and smiled, "Ha ha! It's a person! She looks short, as well! Could she be another fairy? Or is this a third youkai for the collection?"

The silhouette grew closer, and it was now apparent that she had a strange set of appendages that could quite loosely be called wings, was carrying a parasol of some sort, and was indeed around the same height as the tiny Cirno.

"It's a fairy! It's another fairy!" Cirno declared, "Hey! Hey, you, over there! Look here! I caught two youkai! Doesn't that make me awesome?"

The person, who was now clearly visible, was _not _a fairy. Nor was she particularly impressed with Cirno's self-perceived heroics. The young-looking girl was, in fact, a vampire, and probably that fact alone was all she needed to inform Cirno of to get her to leave.

Flandre Scarlet floated towards Cirno, and said, "...what is it we have here?"

Cirno laughed to herself, "Are you deaf? I caught two Youkai! They didn't even see it coming! I just overwhelmed them with my amazing freezing technique!"

Flandre looked down at the two ice-cubes, and took note of the people inside them, "...oh. I know these people."

Cirno cocked her head, "Huh? You remember people? Wow, you must be one of those smart fairies that read stuff and remember what it says. Can you read silently? I find that difficult..."

Flandre smiled falsely, "I'm not a fairy. I'm a vampire. I can read very well. And I don't appreciate the fact you've attacked my friends. I also have the power to destroy anything I like at will." Flandre took time to build up a sufficiently menacing aura, "...and when I destroy something, even if it's a fairy, it's gone _forever..._"

Cirno's brain was evaluating a simple fight or flight decision. After coming to the healthy conclusion that potentially dying forever was not worth a third frozen youkai, the fairy scrambled off the ice cube she was sitting on, and she flew for the furthest end of the lake from their current location.

Flandre smiled to herself, "...wow, it's a good thing I was out today... I guess I never would have been able to go out at all if it wasn't for these two... here's a repaid debt..."

The vampiress got out her trademark weapon of choice, Laevateinn, and activated it, setting it alight. Holding it by Dawitsu's cube, she waited for it to thaw out before moving the sword towards Yutaka's ice cube, and doing the same. However, the two people within the ice cubes were understandably unconscious, as they had just been through an experience that would have caused a human to die of hypothermia.

Picking them both out of the water, the ridiculously strong vampire began her journey home, and once she got back, she lay them in front of the fire in the dining room of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"There we are. I'm sure they'll get better..." Flandre said to herself, prompting someone else to respond.

A certain mature-looking maid appeared in the room, time still very much under her firm control, saying to the younger mistress of the house, "...say, Flandre, you're back sooner than I expected..."

Flandre pointed to the heaps of meat that lay in front of the fireplace, and said, "...I found them in the lake. They seemed to be frozen by some kind of ice fairy..."

Sakuya stifled a laugh, "...they... lost to Cirno?"

"That's the name of the ice fairy?" Flandre asked, "...oh, I'll have to remember that... Cir... no..."

Sakuya looked over the pair of youkai, and quickly put her finger underneath each of their noses to make sure they were breathing properly. Finally, she turned to Flandre, "Good job, Flan-chan. It's strange, you still look like a little girl, but now you're a lot like Remilia in maturity... but it doesn't physically show for you, does it?"

"...do I really act like Remilia?" Flandre asked, "...I'm not sure if that's a good thing..."

Sakuya laughed at this remark, "...I meant you're mature for how you look. I think Remilia's been growing up as well, but she wouldn't like to admit that. She'd probably say something like 'I've been living for five hundred and twenty years, what would make my last ten years so special', you know what I'm saying?"

"Have you been growing up?" Flandre asked, "You know, as a person?"

"I'd like to think so." Sakuya replied, "It's strange, the flow of time seems off. Like something staggered to this point in time... I wonder what it could be..."

Flandre rubbed her chin, "...that's odd. Now that you mention it, the last twenty years or so did pass fairly quickly, didn't they? Where is Remi, anyway?"

"I think she's reading in the library again. It's weird, it's like she wants to replace Patchouli by being her herself..." Sakuya mused, "...I hope Patchy comes to visit soon."

Flandre nodded, "I miss her useless knowledge..."

"You were too young to know how useless her knowledge was when she was still living here..." Sakuya pointed out.

"...you mean I was too _immature_..." Flandre corrected.

Sakuya closed her eyes, "...fair enough. But still... oh, she was interesting. It just isn't the same when Remilia spouts a useless fact..."

Flandre shrugged her shoulders, "At least she's got something to do. I don't know what to do with my days sometimes..."

Sakuya sighed, "Yeah. I used to be an incident solution expert, back in the day. Now all there is to do is maid work. I wonder if I could still solve an incident like a pro now... then again, I haven't heard of Reimu Hakurei solving an incident recently, and if she can't, there's no way I can." Sakuya pondered for a short while, "...hmm. She now has that kid, and she solves the incidents for her, doesn't she? I wish Rinnosuke and I had kids, that way I could sent her out to war and give that new Miko some competition..."

Flandre felt like she may regret asking what she was about to ask, but asked regardless, "...so, why didn't you have children?"

"Never got round to thinking of it... and, well, I'm nearly forty now... I don't think I stand much chance of having children from this point onwards." Sakuya folded her arms, "...you don't know a thing I'm talking about, do you? You vampires have a weird way of reproducing, but at least you can always do it. Would you consider a human you've turned a child of yours?"

Flandre thought to herself, "...perhaps. If they didn't have parents of their own, I'd raise them and make them my child... Remi probably wouldn't count them as her child ever..."

As if she knew she was being spoken of, Remilia entered the room, and said, "...well, if I were to turn a human into a vampire, it'd be a stupid mistake indeed. The last thing I need is someone to rival me in strength, who in this case would most likely be against me because of the fact I turned them against their will..."

Sakuya cocked her head, "Ah, so it's a case of pragmatism for you. I had always wondered. Has any human ever wanted to be a vampire? You know, so they wouldn't be turned against their will?"

"Only the foolish ones that are unaware of how many weaknesses a vampire have." Remilia answered, "...some even think that we merely sparkle under the sun..."

Flandre giggled, "...that'd make us look so silly..."

"We have our insane cousin Edward to thank for that..." Remilia mused.

"We have a cousin?" Flandre asked.

"No, I was just joking..." Remilia replied, "I was recently reading a ridiculous book series about vampires, and their wars with the cursed werewolves, but in this book series, it was all over a conceited human girl. There is no way that would happen in the real world..."

A fourth voice said, "...yeah, that Bella isn't a sympathetic heroine at all, is she?"

The three turned to the source of the voice, and saw that Dawitsu was not only awake, but somehow standing up, "...thanks for saving me and bringing me here. Who found me?"

Flandre put her hand up, "Me, sensei... I mean, Dawitsu..."

Dawitsu smirked, "Ah. Thanks a lot, Flandre, it's seriously appreciated. You... didn't tell anyone who it was that beat us, did you?"

Sakuya hid her face as she tried her best not to giggle, "...no... she didn't do anything of the sort..."

Dawitsu sighed, and turned to look at Yutaka, who was still lying by the fireplace, not quite recovered to completion. Checking that she was breathing in the exact same manner Sakuya had done, he said, "...ah. She'll get up at some point. That's all that matters. Anyway, Flandre, it's a good thing I bumped into you, because I happen to have a plan for something we could all do together for a bit of fun..."

Flandre looked at Dawitsu in a slightly puzzled manner, and said, "What do you mean?"

"Well, do you remember all those years ago, when your Laevateinn disappeared?" Dawitsu asked, "How I stole it from this house?"

Remilia muttered, "Oh, I remember all right."

Flandre decided to move the conversation forwards, "What about it?"

"Well, I was thinking... can I borrow that sword again? This time, you can be in on the fun too..." Dawitsu explained, "...I'm going to start a new incident, and I'm gonna get Reimu and Marisa to be the ones to solve it..."

Sakuya's eyes lit up, "Oh! You're going to get them to solve an incident after all these years... um... can I be on their side and help solve the incident even though I'm in on it? It's been a while for me too, you know..."

Dawitsu smirked, "...you're a human, it's by nature that you'd be a playable character... I mean, incident solver..."

Remilia folded her arms, "But... if everyone's in on it, that doesn't make it a real incident, does it?"

Dawitsu winked at Remilia as he held up his index finger, "...but Reimu and Marisa _won't_ be in on it. For them it will be very real, as long as we keep up a good act. This is what I want everyone to do..."

_Hakurei Shrine, six o'clock post-meridian_

The Hakurei Shrine was currently at its usual level of crowdedness- as well as its two permanent residents, its practically permanent visitors, Marisa and Jean, were round to stay. Although Patricia was always happy to see the witch and her student, Reimu treated the two as she treated most visitors to the shrine- minor annoyances.

Despite this, the two had been at the shrine since about two o'clock, and the older of the shrine maidens there didn't seem to be having a problem with the two staying for dinner. Patricia had been charged with cooking her seniors Yakitori, a dish that was apparently a favourite of Marisa and Jean's, although Reimu didn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea herself despite being the one to tell Patricia to make it.

Turning over the skewered meat that was on the cooker, Patricia ascertained that the meat was indeed cooked, and shouted, "Dinner is served!"

Marisa ran to the cooker first, and took about three skewers' worth of Yakitori, Jean following at a close second, however, he took a sensible amount of food- a single skewer of Yakitori. Reimu waited for Patricia to take her share of the food before she got up to get any for herself. The four sat together at the table, not talking to each other initially on account that their mouths were too occupied with chewing.

Marisa was the first to speak up, "Oh, Patricia, this is delicious! Like, what seasoning did you put on it?"

Patricia smiled to herself, as she had been taught the seasoning by her adoptive mother- the real seasoning was the lack of it- there was no seasoning to begin with. The only thing that added to the flavour was any burnt or crispy fragments of chicken that had got stuck to the cooker and found its way back onto the skewered chicken. The taste came from belief, like a lot of the aspects of the Hakurei Shrine.

Patricia finally answered, "It's a Hakurei family secret. I won't tell you a thing..."

Jean took a bite, and after swallowing, said, "...ah, well, if you shall not tell, then Reimu shall know the secret, and I will have to ask her..."

Reimu grinned, "...you won't get it out of me either. I can just say I'm very proud of it. Shows what we Hakurei maidens are capable of on a subtle level. Not that you two laser-toting wackos would know anything about subtlety..."

"Are you implying something?" Marisa asked.

Reimu swallowed her current mouthful, and said, "...it wasn't an implication. I was simply _saying _you two aren't the most subtle people..."

Marisa laughed, "Ha! Well, regardless of how subtle I am, I was still the better incident resolution expert back in the day _because_ of being a laser-toting wacko! I got the job done quickly, and when I worked with Alice, I was the most feared human in Gensokyo!"

"But you're forgetting that I was the most dependable..." Reimu pointed out, "I didn't have to put anywhere near as much effort into it as you, and whenever I was surrounded by fairies, I had a far easier time than when you were in the same situation."

Jean sighed, "On y va... encore."

Patricia tapped the table, "...Reimu, Marisa, can you not argue with each other at the table?"

Marisa shushed the young miko, "Be quiet, Patricia, adults are talking."

"Yes, Patricia, we're having a mature, in-control discussion here..." Reimu added.

Jean whispered to Patricia, "Ignore them. They are not."

"I didn't need you to tell me that." Patricia whispered back.

The witch and older miko would have probably continued their 'adult' tiff, however, as if fated to do so, they stopped, and the latter of the two said, "...I think... someone's on the shrine grounds..."

Patricia turned to her adoptive mother, "...how can you tell? Should I go out and see them off?"

Reimu shook her head, "No, no. I think that Marisa and I should go out and see it off ourselves."

Marisa was surprisingly willing to go along with this, and said, "...yeah, that seems like a good idea."

The two got up from the table, and Reimu opened the front door, and shouted, "Whoever's on the grounds, go away! We can't be tolerant of Youkai around here, got it?"

However, the person who was on the grounds ran straight at the shrine maiden, and barged into the house, crying her eyes out, almost in a forced manner. It was a certain vampire who had been recently making herself a little more known around Gensokyo ever since she had become a regular leaver of her house, and was almost as notorious as her older sister- it was, of course, Flandre Scarlet.

Marisa put her hands to her hips, "...huh? Why are you crying?"

Reimu folded her arms, "What's more, why is she here, crying?"

Flandre sniffed, and began to behave as immaturely as people expected of someone of her size and stature, "...it's... it's... it's... it's horrible!"

Reimu cocked her head, "...what's horrible?"

"...someone... someone... someone stole my... stole my..." Flandre hiccuped, as if to emulate a crying person to the fullest extent, "...someone stole my sword, Reimu! It has to be a theft! I left it in the foyer, and now it's gone!"

Marisa suddenly began to panic, "...hold on, you didn't tell your big sister about this, did you? Because last time your sword went missing, my house got destroyed by... wait a second..."

Reimu and Flandre both turned to Marisa, simultaneously asking, "...what is it?"

"...that's it! The culprit must be Dawitsu!" Marisa said, "...no-one else would do the exact same act as him! He has to be the culprit!"

Flandre continued to act, "...s-sensei? Sensei... no, he wouldn't steal Laevateinn again... he's my friend now... we put all that behind us... there's no way he could be..."

However, Reimu seemed determined to believe Marisa, for whatever reason, "I say your logic is fool-proof, Marisa! We should go to his house at once and demand it back from him!"

Patricia and Jean, who were watching the entire exchange in the distance, were slightly concerned with how quickly their logic was following through.

"Uncle Jean?" Patricia asked.

"Yes, Patricia?"

"...doesn't it seem strange that Dawitsu would do the exact same thing twice?" Patricia asked, "...well, I mean, I wasn't there when it happened, but it seems that's how they're coming to the conclusion so quickly... it's strange, they're not acting smart. It's like something's making them believe he's to blame..."

Jean shrugged his shoulders, "...he may be to blame, though. Reimu's intuition on who starts incidents tends to be faultless..."

Patricia folded her arms, "...well, I'm the incident resolution expert now! I'm supposed to be the one with the good intuition..."

Jean smiled, "...well, perhaps you should respect those with experience, and see from a master how it is really done..."

Patricia took in what Jean said, and thought to herself. Shortly after, she got up and said, "...I want to come with you too, Reimu! I want to see you solve an incident and learn a thing or two!"

Reimu rolled her eyes, "...um... okay, you can come along, but don't get under our feet or anything..."

"I'm no rookie!" Patricia shouted, "Remember, if I was, it'd mean your training quality sucks..."

Flandre stammered, "...s-so, you'll check if Sensei stole my sword from me? I... I wouldn't want to go there myself, I wouldn't want to hurt Sensei, even if he did steal from me..."

Marisa laughed, "Ha! You youkai are all useless at incident solving, you never help us out! Well... except when we restored the moon... and when we stopped that crazy underground raven."

Reimu folded her arms, "Two times doesn't redeem anything. We shouldn't expect anything more from you, Flandre. You stay here with Jean and cry or whatever you do in situations like these while the real heroes do their jobs."

Flandre played up her act seemingly just to prove Reimu right, and said with ridiculously teary eyes, "...th-thank you M-Miss Miko of the Hakurei Shrine..."

Patricia smiled, "...it's nothing, really..."

Reimu's expression became slightly disgruntled at Patricia's attempt to steal the spotlight, "She was referring to _me_, the Miko of the Hakurei Shrine she remembers."

Patricia fell silent, and Jean called out, "...I guess I'm staying here, then?"

"...yes." Reimu replied, "Look after Flandre, and make sure she doesn't destroy anything while I'm gone..."

Jean nodded, "Of course..."

Reimu turned to Marisa and Patricia, "Okay, you two! Let's go!"

The three walked out the door, and just as they were about to float upwards to the Dawitsu Mansion, a voice called out to stop them, almost as if it had been waiting to interrupt them.

"Oh! Hello, Reimu!" the voice of Sakuya called out, "You three seem like you're in a hurry to go somewhere..."

Reimu turned to the source of the voice, and said, "Oh, strange that I should see you here. Why did you decide to appear at such a specific time?"

Sakuya sweat-dropped, and said, "...well, I was out, looking for Flandre for the mistress. It's her teatime, you see, so I was thinking of getting her home..."

"Oh, right. Well, she's in the shrine's main building, crying her eyes out over some lost sword. In fact, that's why we're going out, to get it back from that no-good youkai mimicker..." Reimu explained.

"...I see... so... you're solving in incident?" Sakuya asked.

"Um... it's not really an incident, but... yeah, I guess we're going out to blow stuff up." Marisa answered.

Sakuya rubbed her chin, as if thinking, and finally said, "That sounds like fun! Can I join you guys?"

Reimu sighed, "...what happened to finding Flandre and getting her home?"

Sakuya cursed herself for coming up with a story so easily picked apart, and so she said, "...well... um... I'll just go inside and tell her that she needs to go home, and then I'll join you guys, okay? It's been so long since I've been incident solving..."

Quickly disappearing, and after a suitable amount of time, reappearing, she said hurriedly, "Okay, everything's done, let's go!"

Marisa wasn't so sure, "...that didn't seem like long enough to tell Flandre to go home..."

Sakuya stayed quiet after this, and Patricia shrugged her shoulders, "Okay, can we just do this incident solution thing? I want to see why Reimu goes on about how much better she is than me..."

Sakuya quickly took the opportunity, and said, "Yes, the girl's right, we need to get Flandre's sword back!"

Reimu turned to Marisa, "...do you smell something fishy about this incident?"

Marisa rubbed her chin, "...perhaps. But I'm sure that if we just approach it like every other incident we've solved, then everything will reveal itself in due time..."

The three past-it incident solvers and their young equivalent of an intern floated upwards, to the Dawitsu Mansion, and much to the surprise of all but Sakuya, who still did her best to act surprised despite this, the door was wide open. Floating through the door one by one, the first thing that was off made itself instantly apparent- the foyer was completely different to usual.

The mansion seemed far bigger on the inside than it did on the outside, even more so than usual, and the space within the mansion's equivalent of a ground floor was simply a large, psychedelic expanse.

Reimu rubbed her eyes, "Um... am I dreaming this?"

Marisa shook her head, "Nope. You're seeing what I'm seeing... it's just like the one time I cooked the wrong type of mushroom..."

Sakuya folded her arms, "...come on, we've seen weirder, right? We've fought Enma, for pity's sake!"

Patricia was holding her head, "...oh... I'm not sure if I can take this... I'm feeling a little sick..."

Reimu gave her successor a gentle cuff on the head, "Snap out of it, Patricia! You're meant to be the person who'll solve incidents when I'm unable to! This guy's a small fry, if you can't handle the tricks he's pulling, then how will you handle the _real _incidents?"

"I _have _handled real incidents!" Patricia shouted.

"Well, then fly forward with us, then!" Reimu commanded, "...this is gonna be different to the first time we got here..."

The four flew forwards, and instantly, as if sensors had caught the sight of them, upbeat music began to play, and the background that seemed to surround the group began to pulse, each pulse accentuating a particular colour within the hallucinogenic mixture. At this point, the fight began, and small, grey, flying disks appeared, firing lasers randomly from themselves.

Sakuya instinctively threw her knives at the unidentified flying objects, but the metal surfaces of the minions easily deflected the projectiles.

Sakuya shrugged, "...um... guess I should have brought other things to throw..."

Reimu sighed, "Guess I have to do everything myself, eh?"

Reimu took to flying ahead, and Patricia took her place by her side. The two threw talismans at the flying saucers, but alas, they were mere paper to the UFOs, and simply stuck to the surfaces of the disks.

Marisa rolled her eyes, "Look, they're clearly not living, the only thing that can beat them is... RAW DESTRUCTION! Outta the way, I'm gonna use my annihilation of love!"

Marisa didn't wait for anyone to dodge, however, and simply grabbed her hakkero, and shouted, "LOVE SIGN: Master Spark!"

The rainbow-coloured laser was practically invisible on the already colourful background, but nonetheless made short work of the mechanical mooks that posed a weak, but constant threat to the heroes.

The music that played in the mansion suddenly stopped, and the sound of Dawitsu's voice replaced it, "...wow, it took you quite a while to dispatch of those enemies, didn't it? A whole bomb wasted on just the first wave of enemies. Well, I can't help it if I've upped my game, can I? Okay, meet round two!"

Marisa looked to Reimu, "...um... I'm not sure if we're even flying forwards any more."

Sakuya put her finger to her mouth, "...hmm, you don't think that space is being altered, do you?"

Reimu's expression became deadpan, "...you're only noticing this _now_?"

Patricia shook her head, "...this place is making me dizzy..."

However, Patricia didn't have the luxury of feeling dizzy, as the aforementioned 'round two' had just appeared, complete with music. Spherical floating robots, each bearing a single blue eye, flew into the fray, shooting countless tiny, easy-to-avoid orange bullets, occasionally peppering their attack with a large, red laser that fired from their usually blue eyes. To top it all off, these enemies could talk.

"THIS IS MY RING!" one of the robots shouted.

"I HAVE KEPT IT SAFE, IT BELONGS TO ME!" another yelled.

Reimu sighed, "...I guess that once again, only Marisa can deal with these..."

Patricia dodged one of the robots' massive lasers as she said to Reimu, "How about we throw the yin-yang orbs themselves?"

Reimu cocked her head, "Huh?"

"You know, throw the yin-yang orbs, like you said you'd teach me?" Patricia replied.

Reimu was surprised that the kid had listened to her better than she had listened to herself, and nodded, "Good idea, kiddo!"

Reimu and Patricia both did their part by lobbing their yin-yang orbs at the enemies, Reimu flawlessly hitting every monitor she aimed for while Patricia put up a valiant effort, but did the exact opposite and missed every single attempt at an attack she did.

Marisa was effortlessly shooting down any robot she could hit with her illusion lasers, while Sakuya was floating at the back, well aware that she was useless for the time being, beyond being a distraction, of course. She simply threw the occasional knife, as well as teleporting to be behind the robots, grabbing them, and throwing them into the poorly-aimed yin-yang orbs thrown by Patricia.

The four were getting their heads into the game, and the music once again stopped, with Dawitsu's voice appearing on the unseen intercom, "...well, it seems you're back into your flow. Does it remind you of the good old days?"

Reimu shook her head, "When did we fight mechanical creatures in the past? It was always fairies and youkai. Speaking of which, why don't you come out of hiding? I know you're the one who stole Laevateinn."

"You want me to come out of hiding?" Dawitsu's voice asked.

"Yes." Reimu bluntly replied, "That's what I just asked."

"How about I send out Chen to fight you instead?" Dawitsu said, "...that's a youkai that you, Marisa, and Sakuya all fought back in the good old days of incident solving, right?"

"And so were you..." Marisa remarked, "What's stopping you, coward?"

Dawitsu's voice giggled through the intercom in an almost unsettling way, so that it reverberated through the psychedelic surroundings, "...well, Sakuya never fought me, but that's besides the point. I will fight you. But first, I want you to fight Chen. And given that you are like, totally within my realm at the moment, there's nothing you can do to question me."

Patricia folded her arms, "I thought you were a nice person, Dawitsu..."

Dawitsu's voice seemed to sigh, "Look, Patricia, I didn't actually count on you coming along to this. The reasons for why I'm doing this will soon become clear, but let's just say that you are the notable exception to my plan. Really, your being here is redundant given the context. That's not to say you can't have fun with this. Anyway... Chen! You want to go down there and have some fun with the humans?"

A fainter voice that clearly belonged to Chen was heard over the intercom, "...yeah, sure! I'll show them my difficult techniques!"

After a brief wait, a rectangular-shaped hold in reality seemed to appear, and Chen walked out of what was clearly the grey interior of a lift. She seemed far more calm about the strange background than any of the humans in the area, and was standing on the ground despite it being nigh impossible to perceive anywhere in the mansion as the ground where they were at the moment.

"Hello, you four! I've been told by Dawi to fight you, so that's what I'm gonna do!" Chen somewhat honestly said.

Marisa shrugged, "Well, I've seen most of your stuff before, so really, you can't make this hard for us..."

Chen giggled, "...what if I said that I will only use the very hardest... things you may or may not have ever seen? I will show you... Phoenix Sign: Phoenix Spread Wings!"

Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya flew back as Chen floated into the air, while the unprepared Patricia stayed where she was.

Reimu called out, "Patricia! Get back! Are you insane?"

Chen began to summon a large amount of familiars, and Patricia soon took her predecessor's warning and flew backwards as well, as the familiars proceeded to explode into wing-like waves of blue and green bullets.

Reimu smirked, "It's alright, she never moves from the centre of the familiar pack, so we just need to focus fire there..."

Sakuya nodded, and concentrated her fire towards Chen, who swiftly dodged her flechette storm and continued to summon familiars, spinning rapidly as she did so.

Marisa gulped, "...okay, that's new..."

Patricia, who, of course, had never fought an old-timer stage two boss such as Chen, had never seen the attack before, and approached it as a new attack rather than a jarringly changed old attack. She simply followed the Nekomata as she flew, dodging along the way, and fired several 'persuasion' needles straight ahead.

Sakuya was finding it difficult to dodge and change her trajectory as she did, but was just about managing it, and eventually, Chen decided to change to an entirely different attack.

"Fine! I'll show off my pride and joy! Even Ran-sama's version of this attack isn't as hard!" Chen called, "Oni Sign: Blue Oni, Red Oni!"

Chen fired two large bullets, one red, one blue, and within milliseconds, the large bullets began to spawn smaller bullets from themselves. Sending them straight towards the four, Chen smirked as she observed them clearly getting comfortable with the fact that this attack seemed to be a perfect replica of the original version of her attack.

Sakuya was leading the attack this time, her knife stream being dense and straight ahead of her. Of course, she was in on the routine, and thus stayed back while Reimu, Marisa, and Patricia were edging towards Chen as they streamed the smaller bullets fired from the Oni representatives.

Chen quickly changed her attack's tack, and the next set of large bullets she created came out of her, went to either side of her, then fired off at an angle, criss-crossing rather than going straight away from her.

Marisa looked to the right slightly, before seeing the large bullet surprisingly heading right her way. Only managing to say, "Crap, she's changed it again..." before getting hit, the pressure was now on the more fortunately placed Reimu, Patricia, and Sakuya, as Marisa fell off her broom and landed on the brightly-coloured floor with a thud.

Reimu shouted, "Damn it, you can't change the rules like that!"

Chen shrugged, "What would it be if this was just a rehash? Dawi really wants you to have fun, both nostalgic and fresh in your head..."

Reimu sweat-dropped as she dodged the now more oddly-distributed bullets, "What do you mean he wants us to have fun? What does he want from us?"

Chen giggled, and began to spin, "All in due time, Reimu! Oni God: Soaring Guardian God!"

"If she changes this attack as well..." Sakuya half-remarked, not able to finish the sentence.

Patricia flew back, so she'd be closer to Sakuya, "What would she usually do here?"

"She'd usually fly in a yin-yang pattern, you know, like your orbs." Sakuya replied, "She'll fire in the opposite direction to her movement. It's easier to just see for yourself..."

Chen began to move as she span, taking up a large area in her path of flight. The three remaining heroes flew ahead of her, being sure not to get trapped as she changed direction to start the 'second half' of her yin-yang flight, and with ease, Chen took enough damage to finally give up, and she stopped her attack, smiling to herself.

"How was that, Dawi? Is that enough? I'm tired now..." Chen said to some point in the strange 'sky' of the 'realm' that was once the Dawitsu Mansion.

Dawitsu's voice once again made itself apparent, "...yes, Chen, that'll do. Hey, you guys, that wasn't half bad! But I think you're still pretty rusty if it takes just two little waves of enemies and a slightly modified extra mid-boss to cause one of your players to fall in battle... I'll give you time to let Marisa get back up, and then Chen will lead you into the lift, and we can begin the second level... the video game villain party! I'll appear personally in this one, with plenty of cosplay outfits on standby... but I can't guarantee I'll have Laevateinn with me! Gah ha ha ha ha!"

Reimu rolled her eyes, "Oh, look at you, Dawitsu! You're a big-time baddie now, aren't you? You're acting like a real villain!"

Sakuya muttered, "Emphasis on _acting_..."

Patricia sighed, "...this is strange, Dawitsu... why are you doing this?"

Dawitsu once again filled the foyer with his clearly rehearsed laugh, "...oh, come on, Patricia, isn't it obvious? I've already told you this experience was not intended for you... surely that information is enough for you to deduce why it is I'm doing this. Call it a service. A favour."

Reimu tilted her head, "...how is stealing a sword from someone who trusts you a favour?"

Patricia thought to herself. So... Flandre, the girl who had her sword stolen by Dawitsu, trusted him. He had also stolen this sword before, perhaps before the two became friends... and the experience was for Reimu and Marisa, and possibly Sakuya, as she wasn't mentioned as being unexpected at this event... that suggested that Flandre _let _him steal her sword... to re-enact something from the past... that was it! That was the favour! That's why he went on about nostalgia... he was getting Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya to relive the good old days when they solved incidents! Patricia knew it was best not to reveal what she had figured out to her predecessor, as it would ruin the fun, and instead decided to take her leave, seeing as she was probably cramping the 'retro' style of this event.

"Reimu... I'm feeling incredibly dizzy now... I'm going to go home..." Patricia somewhat convincingly acted.

Sakuya cocked her head, somewhat jarred by her sudden change of heart, asked, "Why do you want to go home? I'm sure the next area won't be as strange..."

"It's okay..." Patricia mumbled, "...you three have fun..."

Reimu rolled her eyes, "You're never gonna learn anything with that attitude... but I guess you have been up since stupid o'clock this morning, so you're probably tired. Go on, go to bed, Uncle Jean's still at home, he'll look after you."

Patricia smiled, and flew back the way she came. She headed straight for the door, which was the only visible landmark within the strange, warped version of the Dawitsu Mansion foyer, and soon exited the mansion. She couldn't wait to tell her 'Uncle' the news she had figured out for herself, and floated downwards, landing gently on the Hakurei Shrine grounds.

Running into the Hakurei Shrine's house, she shouted, "Uncle Jean! Uncle Jean! I know what's going on!"

Jean was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a Grimoire over a plate with several used skewers piled on it, and a certain blonde-haired vampire was sitting next to him, reading over his shoulder. After a delay, he finally reacted to Patricia's call, and looked up, over the book.

"What do you mean 'what is going on'? Isn't it just that Mister Dawitsu has stolen the Laevateinn from Miss Scarlet?" Jean replied.

Patricia thought to herself for a moment, and said, "...wait, what is Flandre doing here?"

Flandre cocked her head, "W-what do you mean?"

"Well, didn't Sakuya tell you to go home?" Patricia asked, "She said she was looking for you, and wanted to tell you to go home and get your tea... unless... she never told you..."

Flandre gulped, "...um... well... I didn't realise that..."

Patricia smirked, "And I already know all about the fact that you were in on this, Flandre. You gave Dawitsu Laevateinn so he could put on an incident just for Reimu and Marisa to solve, right? And the fact that Sakuya's behaving suspiciously means that... she must be in on it too!"

Jean smirked, "...Patricia, you are quite intelligent for a young girl... Flandre has been crying so convincingly, I could never have guess that she was acting..."

Flandre turned to Jean, "Was I really that good?"

Patricia put her hands to her hips, "Well, you fooled me also! But now I am onto your scheme, and will..."

Flandre stood up apprehensively, "...look, don't start a fight, I don't want to have to battle a human... I could seriously hurt or kill you, it's really for the best if..."

Patricia smirked, "...will you let me finish? I'm not going to do anything."

Jean, who had closed his book to step out of the potential no-man's land, re-opened his Grimoire, and said, "...why are you not going to do anything? She has deceived Reimu and Marisa, and there may be a trap of some sort... although... it is only the mimicker youkai. If he is still the way he has always been... he should not be a threat to them, am I right?"

Patricia nodded, "...his intent was more than obvious. I'm surprised Reimu didn't catch on to it, to be honest. Dawitsu is putting on an incident to get Reimu and Marisa to feel young again... letting them have fun with Danmaku battles. He's made them pretty challenging, actually, he's set up enemies that can only be defeated in certain ways... that's why I've left. I won't appreciate it as much as they will..."

Jean smiled, "...that seems like something he would do. Is this true, Flandre?"

Flandre shrugged her shoulders, "...you got it completely right. I'm pretty disappointed that someone saw through the plan so quickly... at least it was someone who wasn't actively part of the plan..."

Patricia folded her arms, "...don't act like I'm some sort of side character!"

"In fairness, you have only been introduced in this book alone, you can't expect much..." Jean replied.

Patricia turned to Jean, "Huh? What book?"

"Book?" Jean replied, as if he didn't know what he had just said, "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind..." Patricia gave up trying to pry into the strange breaking of the fourth wall uttered by Jean, and instead decided to manipulate the narrative in an entirely different way, "...hmm, I wonder if they're enjoying the incident at the moment..."


	3. The Epilogue- Part 3

Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue

**Time passes, even in Gensokyo- part 3**

_Back at the Dawitsu Mansion, during the latter of the former events_

Reimu had spent about two minutes shaking the still-unconscious Marisa, frantically talking to her as if she was dead, "...come on, Marisa! Get up! You'd normally come back instantly after getting hit! Come on, snap out of it!"

Dawitsu's voice once again filled the room, this time not sounding quite as menacing, "...oh god, is she alright? I didn't think she'd get hurt during this experience. I mean, she never usually gets hurt in these things. I usually get down to my last two lives when doing a Marisa play-through, but never actually..."

"Will you shut up?" Reimu snapped, "What the hell do you want us here for if you don't want to hurt us?"

Chen knelt beside Reimu, and said, "Honestly, we didn't mean for anything like this to happen..."

"You can shut your pie-hole too!" Reimu added, "Honestly, this is so stupid... and now... and now..."

Reimu gazed at Marisa, and suddenly the reality of the situation struck her. Marisa could have actually died from this. The thought was now all the more real, and Reimu began to tear up, "...Sakuya, is there anything you can do to help?"

Sakuya shook her head, "...I'm so sorry..."

Reimu gulped, "...Marisa? Marisa... please... please get up... I don't want you to die. I don't want to see you go... I still have so many things I want to do with you, so many days I wanna waste with you... please... don't leave... I never thought I'd say this, but..." Reimu began to hiccough, and struggled to bring out her next words, "...I... I... I love you, Marisa..."

Reimu burst into tears, and cried into Marisa's clothes. Chen stepped away from the shrine maiden, as did Sakuya, so as to leave the poor woman in peace. However, shortly after the two did this tactful gesture of respect, the object of grieving began to take that respect right away from Reimu.

"That was seriously the gayest thing I have ever heard." Marisa mumbled, opening her eyes, "...lesbian."

Reimu picked herself up, and opened her eyes widely, her face full of relief, saying, "Marisa? You're alright?" before her face instantly reset itself to her default 'unimpressed' expression, "...I mean, oh. You're alright."

The sound of Dawitsu's laughter could be heard throughout the deranged surroundings, and after the laughter stopped, he said, "...oh, I'm so totally reporting that one to Aya! Reimu Hakurei: gently rebuffed by her homophobic true love!"

"Go to hell." Reimu muttered.

"My Chibis have been there, remember? It's quite a fun place, from the sounds of it!" Dawitsu replied, "...I'm sorry that Marisa just wants to be friends..."

Reimu growled, her face full of anger while Chen, Sakuya, and Marisa all stifled laughter behind her. Finally, she screamed at Chen, "OKAY, IF THIS WORM OF A YOUKAI IS GOING TO APPEAR ON THE NEXT FLOOR, TAKE US THERE!"

Chen sweat-dropped, "...y-yes, Miss Ha..."

"NOOOOOOOOWWWW!" Reimu yelled.

Chen rolled her eyes, flicking off the small droplets of spit Reimu had expelled onto her face, "Okay, okay, honestly, keep your hair on..."

Chen walked along the floor, and somehow located a button on the already hard-to-locate wall, and after a short wait, a rectangular hole in the current space's reality, or so it would seem, appeared to the three visitors.

Chen smiled a small cat's grin, "I'm sure you're familiar with the lifts here, right?"

Reimu, who was still red in the face from her shouting, simply said, "...don't talk if you don't need to, cat."

Reimu and Chen entered the lift first, and Marisa and Sakuya walked towards it a little slower, so as to not be heard whispering to one another.

"Yeah, maybe calling her gay wasn't the best of ideas..." Marisa admitted.

Sakuya smirked, "Yeah, she's scary when she's angry..."

"Are you two gonna get in the lift or what?" Reimu shouted, causing the two to scramble inside for fear that they may get punished by the clearly enraged Shrine Maiden.

The lift doors shut and the silent ascent began. Due to the fact that there were now four people within the lift, the lift ride was somehow even more awkward than the first time Reimu and Marisa had rode it.

Chen smiled to herself somewhat calmly, as if trying to emulate her 'Aunty' Yutaka, and when the lift doors opened, she said, "This is where I stop escorting you. The video game villain party will begin soon..."

Reimu sighed, "...I'm tired and I'm bored. Can't Dawitsu just give me the damn sword and save himself the humiliation?"

"No, he can't..." a new voice called, and the three 'heroines' of the 'adventure' turned their heads towards the voice, and saw a certain kitsune, decked up in relatively skimpy-looking clothes. A simple bikini and a pair of jeans was just about all that was on her, that and a far more conspicuous-looking piece of attire- a square box on her back.

Marisa smirked, "...ah, Miss Yandere herself. How's your kidnapped husband doing? And why don't you put on some clothes while you're thinking of an answer that won't turn any heads?"

Ran blushed, before composing herself again, "...I haven't kidnapped anybody. And you'll find that my so-called 'kidnapped husband' actually forced me to wear this attire for the purposes of this event..."

"What do you mean?" Sakuya asked, despite already sort of knowing the answer.

Ran smiled to herself, "...let me show you humans... I've been practising a few new attack routines... let me ask you, Marisa, do you like lasers?"

"I thought you'd never ask..." Marisa replied, "...of course I do!"

Ran folded her arms, and leant backwards, at which point six robotic arms extended from the box on her back. One supported her weight, while the rest activated what seemed like laser swords from their ends. Ran redistributed her weight, and allowed her lower 'arm' to carry her upwards, so that she stood above the three humans.

"...allow me to show you... my latest routines..." Ran said, almost as if she was trying to sound insane.

Reimu decided to suck all the grandeur out of the situation, and said, "Okay, what's the point of having things to make you taller when you can already fly?"

Ran scratched her head, and finally shrugged her shoulders, "...I... don't know, I guess Dawitsu was just making me wear this revealing outfit for the sake of it..."

Sakuya smirked, "...yeah, that sounds like him..."

Ran suddenly snapped back into her 'villainous' act, and said, "Enough talk! Chen, attack!"

Chen nodded, and said, "My job as an escort is over, so now I'll be fighting you again. Sorry about this. And try not to get hurt this time..."

Reimu rolled her eyes, and began to float upwards, "This is just stalling, isn't it?"

Ran answered the shrine maiden by slashing at her with one of her swords, and left a trail of purple bullets in her wake, which proceeded to bombard the floor, forcing Marisa and Sakuya off the ground also. Slashing upwards, left, then right, Ran sent wave after wave of bullets, Chen spinning and orbiting Ran the entire time, sending a bullet spray of her own.

Marisa switched her attack style so that she was firing large, powerful green stars from her hakkeros as opposed to illusion lasers, and allowed them to trail behind her every movement.

Reimu widened her eyes, "...hey, I haven't seen that attack style since..."

Marisa nodded as she shimmied to the right to avoid a large wave of bullets, "...yeah, since I climbed up that mountain and kicked that arrogant Kanako's butt!"

Reimu's expression became stern, "...excuse me, if I recall, _I _was the one who climbed up the mountain to kick Kanako's butt..."

Sakuya gave the two a puzzled look as she threw approximately sixty knives in Ran's general direction, and said, "...um, excuse me, but I don't remember any sort of trek up the mountain..."

Reimu sighed, "...that's because you weren't part of that adventure! And Marisa, I can switch attack styles too!"

Reimu proceeded to prove herself right, and hid her yin-yang orbs within herself, and fired some kind of strange purple talismans in a wide arc. Ran was not even flinching from the damage she was receiving, and finally said, "Chen, get out of here, and report to Dawitsu. Tell him I may need his assistance..."

Chen stopped spinning, and saluted Ran as if she were some kind of military commander, saying, "...yes, Ran-sama!" before speeding off towards the next lift.

Marisa kept in front of Ran, and said, "What's the matter, Ran? Can't take the heat?"

Ran smirked, "...ah, you're actually getting into it now, aren't you? Okay, I'll show you something fun... Combination Sign: Telekinesis Blade Rotor!"

Ran fired the five laser swords out of her robotic hands, and closed her eyes, as if concentrating somewhat nonchalantly, and the hilts of the purple swords began to glow an odd florescent green. The swords temporarily deactivated, and began to orbit Ran. Reimu sighed, "Okay, we're going to have to get close to her if we don't want to be cut into a million pieces..."

The three got up close, and Sakuya got out a set of knives in preparation for close combat, before Ran decided to vanish from the situation, and left the three in her spinning sphere of sweeping strobes. The large sphere moved along with what felt like Ran's presence, and the three moved accordingly.

However, this in itself provided no challenge. What did, however, was the various bullets which came into the 'safe spot' from all around them, seemingly coming from the slashing swords that surrounded them. The bullets were forming a dense, slow-moving sheet, so much so that there were a mere five places that the heroines could go without having to put an effort into dodging.

Reimu and Marisa had got their head in the game, and sat still in mid-air as the attack completely bypassed them. Sakuya looked at the two, and grinned. It was her opportunity to throw them off guard, and she subtly moved to the left, and said in a false sounding tone, "...oops!"

She thus used this terrible attempt at feigning a mistake to fly into Reimu, and push her into the fray, where she'd _have _to move around to evade the bullets.

"Damn it, you did that on purpose, didn't you, Sakuya?" Reimu shouted.

"Did what?" Sakuya asked in a faux-innocent voice.

Marisa laid back on her broom, enjoying the safe-spot, "...you totally stole Reimu's blind spot!"

Sakuya took the excuse where it stood, "...er... yeah... I kinda did. Sorry about that, Reimu."

Reimu scowled as she ducked to dodge yet another bullet, "...screw you, Sakuya! You always make these thing less fun!"

Marisa laughed, still safe and sound, "...yeah, remember when you tried to solve the fake moon incident? Remilia was carrying you all the way!"

Sakuya turned red, "Th-that wasn't true! I was perfectly capable to play on my..."

However, before she could finish her dubiously true statement, she got hit by a bullet, the safe-spot she was in not being so safe any more, and she began to fall towards the ever-shrinking saber-sphere's edge, but before she hit the menacing sight, she teleported herself back into Reimu's safe spot, and said, "Phew, that was close..."

Reimu air cartwheeled to the right, "...damn. I was hoping for a second that you'd fall into there..."

Sakuya turned to Reimu in disapproval, "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Hey! You were the one who pushed me out of my safe-spot! Why the hell didn't you get your own?" Reimu yelled.

Out of the blue, the attack stopped, and all one thousand and five imminent threats to the heroines disappeared, in exchange for the creator of the attacks appearing in front of the trio.

"...okay, you two, let's calm down..." Ran said, smiling as if trying to be condescending without much feeling.

Reimu folded her arms, "She started it..."

Sakuya suddenly became defensive, "...yeah, well, it wasn't fair that those two had a safe spot and I didn't!"

Marisa, who was still rather relaxed, said, "...in fairness, Sakuya, there were other safe spots. You didn't really have an excuse..."

Ran cocked her head, "...really? I left that many blind spots?"

Marisa remained calm, "I'm afraid so..."

Reimu growled in a high-pitched voice, as if she was regressing back to her petulant, teenage personality, "...we're getting off topic! Sakuya deliberately pushed me into fire! She isn't an ally! I think I should kick her butt right here and now!"

Sakuya readied a knife, "...oh, incident solvers don't think... they _do_."

"Oh, that's it, you're getting it..." Reimu yelled, and began to summon four yin-yang orbs to her aid.

Ran sweat-dropped, "...um... just so you know, Dawitsu will be arriving shortly..."

Sakuya turned to Ran quickly, just to shout, "...shut up! This is between me and Reimu!"

Ran sighed, and muttered, "...look, Sakuya, I thought you were clear on what we'd planned..." before covering her mouth after noticing her error.

Sakuya suddenly stopped what she was doing, and said, "...um... Ran..."

Reimu and Marisa looked at Sakuya, before they turned to each other, and nodded.

"This makes much more sense now..." Marisa mused.

"...everything's falling into place..." Reimu added.

"You're in on this fiasco too, aren't you?" Marisa concluded, pointing at Sakuya.

Sakuya smirked, and whispered to Ran, "...this is where you improvise..."

"...okay." Ran answered, before addressing the two 'true' heroines, "...yes, Sakuya is here, helping us with this incident! With her time warping skills and your trust, our aims are far easier to attain! AH HA HA!" Ran stopped laughing maniacally to cough a little, and let the others speak.

Reimu cocked her head, "...but... Sakuya, why? Flandre is the nicer one of your mistresses!"

Sakuya shuffled, trying to come up with a ridiculous, convoluted story, "...uh... well... I have decided to ally myself with Dawitsu, so that when he takes over the world, I can... uh... be honorary advisor to him!"

Ran turned to Sakuya, seemingly having forgotten the story was completely false, "...hey, if Dawitsu takes over the world, _I'll _be his honorary advisor!"

"Wouldn't you be his Queen?" Sakuya parried.

"That _is _an honorary advisor in my eyes!" Ran shouted.

Reimu and Marisa looked at each other with confused faces as the maid and kitsune continued to argue pointlessly, not sure whether they should interrupt the two or not.

Finally, as an automated version of the former of their choices, the lights in the room dimmed and spotlights began moving around the area as a booming voice filled the hall, "...ladies and ladies, girls and girls, the one you have been waiting for all this time has finally arrived! It's the one, the only... Mateyuu Dawitsu!"

A lift door opened, and Dawitsu walked out of the lift, accompanied by Chen and the two magicians who were obviously responsible for the over-the-top special effects. He looked like he was dressed as some kind of metallic pirate, as did his 'assistants', and he limped towards the four girls, who were now silent in wonderment at what on earth he was supposed to be dressed as.

"Yes! It is I! The great Dawitsu! Here to kick your butts for a non-specified purpose that's undoubtedly evil and a threat!" Dawitsu declared in a ridiculously brash-sounding voice.

Ran's eyes began to gleam, "...oh, honey-bunch, your outfit looks spectacular!"

Reimu face-palmed, "Honey-bunch? Seriously?"

Dawitsu sweat-dropped, "...it's... just a thing we have." Dawitsu stepped back into his false charisma, and said, "...anyway... Reimu! Marisa! I see you have come to fight me! Have you enjoyed your trip up here?"

Marisa smiled to herself, "Admittedly, yes..."

Reimu turned to Marisa, "You're not supposed to _agree _with him!"

Marisa shrugged her shoulders, "...well, I had fun, at least? Didn't you? It's been a while since I've fought a big extra-level boss like Ran..."

Dawitsu laughed to himself, "Excellent! Then my plan is almost complete! But first, I must do something for myself! Yutaka! Have you got Laevateinn ready?"

Yutaka nodded enthusiastically, and brandished the flaming sword as it was mentioned, "Yes, sir!"

"Patchy! Have you got the blue-prints I instructed to you memorised?" Dawitsu asked.

Patchouli nodded in a far less enthusiastic manner, "...yes."

"Chen! Have you..." Dawitsu scratched his head as he thought of a line "...got something else to do?"

Chen saluted Dawitsu, "No, Dawi!"

Dawitsu sighed, "...then... go upstairs and play video games or something!" Dawitsu continued to shout every line he said, as if he was _trying _to be an over-the-top loser, "...or sit and watch us, whatever you want! Yah!"

Reimu half-closed her eyes, "Are you actually going to fight us?"

Dawitsu suddenly laughed to himself in a slightly robotocised voice, "...I don't suppose you know who I'm mimicking, do you? Well, I guess I'll just have to show you... Yutaka, extend the ceiling, would you?"

Yutaka held up her arms, and as she did, a shuffling sound was heard, however, the current lighting made it difficult to ascertain whether any change actually occurred. However, Dawitsu's next step would certainly accomplish such a feat.

"...thanks, Yutaka. Now, Patchouli, assemble... _the Grolgoth_!" Dawitsu yelled, clearly trying to ravage his vocal cords as much as possible.

Patchouli sighed, and said, "...one moment..."

Marisa whispered to Reimu, "...what the hell's stopping us just shooting the idiot now?"

Surprisingly, Reimu replied with, "Shhh... this fight could be good..."

Patchouli raised her arms and began to transform the various paintings on the walls, as well as the tables, into yellow metal plates of different shapes and sizes. Some things she formed resembled functional parts, such as a head which sported two antennae-like aerials, a gun-cannon, an arm, and two legs. Once the pieces were formed, Patchouli concentrated as she made the parts float together, finally assembling one fully-sized giant robot.

Dawitsu smirked, and limped towards the robot, saying, "Now, Yutaka, be a dear and put Laevateinn in the Grolgoth's hand..."

Yutaka nodded, and walked towards the gargantuan robot, and caused the large, flaming sword to levitate into the metallic monster's hand. Dawitsu stopped limping, and floated up towards the robot's head. Dawitsu looked at the robot's head, and laughed anxiously, before turning to Patchouli, "...um... you did form the remote for this thing, right?"

Patchouli stopped in thought, and then said, "...no. One moment..."

After a brief wait, Patchouli created a small remote control, and threw it at Dawitsu, who caught it, "...thank you. Right, prepare for your doom!"

Reimu smirked, "...we've had plenty of time to prepare, trust me..."

Dawitsu pressed a button, and the head of the robot lifted up. Dawitsu slipped underneath the head, and descended into the robot's body. After a brief pause, the head lowered itself back into place, and the robot finally began to move, seemingly inheriting Dawitsu's spazzy gestures as it began to play Dawitsu's voice through some speakers on its chest.

"This is it! The ultimate fight! Most danmaku games involve giant robots of some sort, and this series is no exception! Evil Eye Sigma, eat your heart out!" the Grolgoth bragged.

Reimu grinned, "...isn't that reference a little obscure?"

Marisa turned to Reimu, "...he was making a reference to something?"

Reimu shushed the relatively inexperienced witch, "...now, now, I started my incident solving career a little earlier than you. I know some things you haven't even heard of..."

Marisa's face became blank, "I see..."

The giant robot standing in front of Reimu and Marisa began to stamp its feet, and shouted, "ENOUGH DISCUSSION! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE! LET'S FIGHT!"

Ran scratched her head, "...in fairness, _you _have been wasting the most time, muffin-cake..."

Reimu and Marisa both turned to each other, at first only giggling, but then breaking out into full-blown laughter, causing the sword-wielding mech to face-palm with its cannon arm, "...Ran, was there really any need?"

"Honey, I'm just trying to be..." Ran began to say, before her husband interrupted her mid-speech.

"ENOUGH! Ran! Yutaka! Patchouli! Assemble! And... Sakuya, you might as well help out seeing as your act clearly failed." the Grolgoth shouted, and allowed time for his assistants to float to his side. Finally, he initiated the first attack, "...Mechanical Sign: Bomb Cannon!"

The robot aimed its arm-cannon at Reimu and Marisa, who both instinctively began to move under its aim. The cannon shot out three large, black bombs with a strange mechanical-themed skull and crossbones emblem plastered on them.

Marisa began to fly out of the perceived path of the bombs, but the bombs altered their path accordingly so as to home in on the witch.

"What? That's not fair!" Marisa shouted.

Reimu, who was lucky enough to have had no bombs aimed for her, yelled back, "Try shooting at them!"

Marisa fired her typical green shots, and to her surprise, the shots deflected the bombs back towards the mechanical monstrosity that fired them. The Grolgoth saw the attack coming, however, and lifted one of its legs so it was facing sideways, and a rocket propulsion device on the bottom of its shoe allowed the massive mech to slide cleanly to the side, avoiding the attack.

Reimu decided to begin firing talismans at the robot, but, as she expected, she couldn't do any damage herself, "...hmm. Marisa, it seems we have to deflect the bombs back at him..."

Marisa smirked, "...well, that's okay. With these things they never learn to just stop using the technique that allows you to hurt them... they'll always give you opportunity, right?"

The robot proceeded to prove them wrong, however, and ran up towards the pair of heroines before performing a massive leap, making the confused shrine maiden and witch look to the seemingly infinitely high ceiling in an attempt to keep an eye on the mech. Marisa finally spotted it, and said, "Reimu! Right above you!"

Reimu flew to the side as fast as she could, and marginally avoided the great mass of metal and oil that came down onto the floor with such force that it seemed to be a structural miracle that the Dawitsu Mansion was at all in one piece.

At this point, the robot ran back to its original position, and said, "Sakuya, do you want to be useful?"

Sakuya sighed, "I guess being a boss counts as nostalgia, so yeah, why not..."

"Right, when I say, stop time!" Dawitsu's voice demanded, "And when you do, touch the Grolgoth, so I can move... feel free to add any Danmaku you wish to the mix..."

Sakuya smiled, "...sounds like a plan!"

"Okay then... STOP TIME!" the Grolgoth yelled, and suddenly yet seamlessly, Reimu and Marisa had found themselves surrounded by several homing bombs and various criss-crossing lines of knives.

Reimu feverishly fired as much as she could to deflect the incoming explosives while simultaneously avoiding the much harder to deflect knives, while Marisa, who had this time been let off the hook in regards to bombs, concentrated her fire on Sakuya.

The bombs flew off at random angles, and the sheer number of them rendered it nigh-impossible for a robot as large as the Grolgoth to successfully avoid. The robot got pelted by two bombs and fell to the floor, nearly crushing the allies of his who were simply standing and watching.

Sakuya flew backwards, and decided she'd take over, "...I have no reason to continue this fight, but you know what, I'm sure having fun! Illusion World: The World!"

Sakuya fired out several waves of fire, and then stopped time, causing a curtain of randomly moving daggers to appear instantaneously on top of the fire.

Reimu dodged to the left, and said, "...look, we've seen this before. It's kinda old. In fact, it's incredibly old. What's the point in rehashing this crap?"

Sakuya face-palmed, stopped time to add more knives to the pattern, and resumed time before replying, "...don't you get what this whole experience has been about?"

Marisa bombed, sending stars outwards from herself, and clearing the area easily, "...huh? There's been a point to all this?"

Yutaka and Patchouli floated up to where Sakuya was, and the former said to the witch, "...isn't it obvious? Also, Patchouli said that you've been attempting to steal from our library again. We can't forgive that, can we, Patchy?"

"...yes, we certainly can't let you off lightly..." Patchouli somewhat nonchalantly agreed.

Sakuya looked to the magicians, "...I see. You want me to take a break, right?"

Yutaka and Patchouli nodded in unison, and the latter said, "...I wouldn't want you to get hurt, Sakuya. This spell-card is quite the power-house..."

Yutaka grinned her usual unsettling grin, "...so much so that it takes two magicians to perform it..."

Marisa and Reimu, who were once again floating and waiting for their enemies to get it together and actually do something, yelled simultaneously, "...just do the damn attack!"

As if their minds had also melded, Patchouli and Yutaka held each others hands, and said together, without fail, "Very well. Sun, Moon and Water Sign: Refractive Tidal Wave!"

The two magicians concentrated intensely, and as if they were not instrumental to the spell-card's being at all, blue water-type bullets began to rise up from the floor, while yellow lasers shone in from the ceiling. As the lasers hit the water-bullets, they refracted into many thinner lasers, forming an intricate cobweb of lasers that quite easily confined Reimu and Marisa's movement.

Marisa was taking it slowly, and studying the attack carefully, "...hmm. There's water... there's the sun... alright, where does the moon come into this attack?"

Reimu pinched her own nose, "...you're just tempting fate by saying that, you know..."

The water bullets were raising uniformly from the floor, and nature of the attack was becoming more and more predictable. Finally, the water bullets stopped moving altogether, meaning that, although trapped within their own little laser sections, Reimu and Marisa didn't even have to move to stay safe.

Marisa was in the wrong place to fire any bullets towards the magicians, and Reimu was only able to hit them with her relatively weak homing amulets. The situation was currently a stalemate. However, Yutaka would soon tip the match to be in Patchouli and her own favour, and said to the two, "...you know how you were wondering how the moon was involved in all of this?"

Marisa gulped, "...um... yeah?"

Patchouli smirked, "...well, Yutaka will be glad to show you..."

All of a sudden, the 'bullet pool' that the two were in rose at the end closest to Yutaka and Patchouli, and descended once again, only for a section of the bullet pool closer to Reimu and Marisa to rise in its place. To put it shortly, a transverse wave was travelling right towards Reimu and Marisa, skewing the refractive angles of the sun-lasers, and forcing the two to move around frantically, hoping that they didn't accidentally run into a stray 'droplet' that flew at an off angle from the main 'wave'. The wave 'crashed' at the other end of the room, causing certain 'water droplets' to reflect back towards Reimu and Marisa.

Marisa backed into a sun laser, and felt a mild singeing sensation on the back of her top before she flew forwards in a manner similar to a knee-jerk reflex, "Ow! Man, those are hot..."

Reimu, who was beginning to rediscover her insanely good luck from days gone by, realised that the easiest way to dodge the lasers was to relax and only move when she needed to. But despite this, she still managed to get a laser to pierce through her hair, setting it alight.

"AH! MY HAIR!" Reimu yelled, and began to fly around in panic, hitting about thirteen water bullets before her hair-fire was put out.

A certain robotic voice muttered from the floor, "...I wish I wasn't in a robot suit, 'cause it'd be funny to see what it's like when _you _are the one with the hair on fire..."

Reimu cocked her head, exhausted from all the successive bullets she had hit, "...eh? What are you talking about?"

The Grolgoth got itself up, and the head rose upwards, so that Dawitsu could show his face momentarily, "Yutaka, just stop the attack for a moment..." Yutaka nodded, and thus, the only bullet pattern that seemed anywhere close to beating the two disappeared, and Dawitsu continued, "...don't ya remember? From the golden days? When you sent an evil sealing circle my way and singed my hair? Wasn't that fun back in the day?"

Reimu stopped and thought, and said, "...actually... yeah, it was kinda fun, wasn't it?"

Marisa suddenly raised her arm, "AH-HA! I've got it! I've got it! I know what this whole damn thing was about!"

Dawitsu turned to Marisa, "...eh? You've figured what out?"

Marisa chuckled to herself, "You sly dog, Dawitsu... you're trying to make us have a little fun, aren't ya? You think we're old fogeys who want to relive the good old days..."

Reimu's eyes widened, "...wait... come to think of it... that does make sense... you said you didn't want to hurt us, were always asking if we were having fun... and... that's why Patricia wasn't welcome... why Sakuya was on our side at first... Patricia must have left because... oh, she's good... Patricia figured it out quicker than I did!"

Dawitsu smirked, "...your thought processes must be superhuman... well, more superhuman than my own, I mean. I thought my plan was flawless. Yep. You're right. This is all a sham. Flandre even _let _me have her Laevateinn... this was all a set up for nostalgia's sake..."

Reimu smiled, "...heh, you had us going, I gotta admit..."

"Now, I guess you're gonna just give us the sword back nice and easy and we'll just go back home, right? I mean, there's no point continuing now that the act is ruined..." Marisa added, but Dawitsu quickly contradicted her.

"NO! No... not yet." Dawitsu replied, laughing a little to himself, "...well, it's been forever since I've been in control of Laevateinn... and well... I only used it the once last time, so... how about I use it this one last time right now?"

"But boss, we were in the middle of our attack..." Yutaka pointed out before being senselessly interrupted.

"Hey! This was my idea, let me do it my way!" Dawitsu shouted, somewhat surprising most of the onlookers.

"Oh no... he's lost it..." Reimu remarked.

"Nope. I'm just finishing the act I started..." Dawitsu replied, and descended back into the Grolgoth's body, and after the head descended once again, the robotic voice of the mech said, "...Combination Sign: Grolgoth impersonating Glastonbury!"

The Grolgoth proceeded to wave the once inactive Laevateinn in its only true hand around as it were nothing, effortlessly spraying wave after wave of red, flame-type bullets. However, it was clear Dawitsu was not content with just one combination of mimicry, and thus the Grolgoth began to lift itself into the air with the rocket propulsion devices on its feet.

The robot then declared, "LONDON MISSILE! ATTACK!"

This call, for whatever reason, caused a whole fleet of missiles to be fired, adding fast, unpredictable projectiles on top of the slow, dense sheets of fire that were being formed from the still-frequent slashes of the legendary Laevateinn.

Reimu smirked, "...if this is what he's doing just for fun, I'd hate to see him when he actually tries..."

"We did..." Marisa pointed out, "...and he was just as easy. He must just take his silly little games seriously. Come on, let's finish this off..."

Reimu turned to Marisa, "...duplex spark?"

"Duplex spark." Marisa confirmed.

Reimu pulled out a spell card, and within moments a bilayered border surrounded the giant robot. The Grolgoth's speakers shouted petulantly, "...oh, you have got to be kidding me! Since when did this thing form around _me_? Oh, crap, I know what's coming next..."

Marisa grabbed her hakkero, and said, "I'll try my best to sound like how I said this as a kid, just for you, you nostalgia-seeking weirdo! Master... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!"

The hakkero released its annihilation of love, and the giant robot, unlike most targets, took about three-quarters of the total energy of the laser rather than the usual one-thirtieth, and began to fall apart, its torso being ripped clean from its legs. Once the attack was over, the torso fell to the floor, and the head of the mech gently broke off the robot's body.

Dawitsu crawled out of the Grolgoth's wreckage as Ran almost instantly ran up to help him up, grumbling as he did, "...if I were a human... I'd probably have several broken bones and severe brain damage. Maybe I should have let Yutaka and Patchouli continue..."

Yutaka, who had been floating at the side of the fray somewhat sheepishly, concurred, "...yes. If you wanted to win, we were your best gamble..."

Patchouli smirked, "...yes. Intelligence always outshines raw power."

"No pun intended." Yutaka added with a rather childish giggle.

Dawitsu, who was finding it difficult to stand, let alone talk, muttered, "...but... it isn't about winning... it's... about..."

Dawitsu staggered a little, and Ran decided that she had to keep hold of him to make sure he was steady, "...are you alright, darling?"

Dawitsu grinned weakly, "...yeah... I'm just gonna... retire from consciousness for a while, okay?"

Ran didn't have time to reply as Dawitsu's body seemingly gave up on command, and the mimicker fainted, Ran catching him in her arms.

Reimu looked at Marisa in a somewhat disconcerted manner, "...wow, he's devoted to this crap, isn't he?"

Marisa nodded, "Yeah... I guess we should stick around and thank him when he wakes up."

Reimu folded her arms, "Hmph! Why should we do that?"

Marisa rolled her eyes, "...oh come on, don't act like you didn't have fun. Plus, you managed to get out all your suppressed feelings thanks to this experience..."

Reimu began to blush, "...look, I thought you were dead, alright! I was just sad, that's all! I don't really..."

Marisa danced around Reimu, mocking her in a childish fashion, as if Dawitsu's scheme had at least succeeded in regressing them into the mind-states of teenage girls, "...la la la! Reimu's in love! Reimu's in love!"

Reimu sighed, "...I'm so gonna kill you when we get outside..."

Marisa smirked, "Don't you mean you'll almost kill me, take me for dead, and tell me how much you loved me and didn't want to kill me?"

Reimu snapped, and began to chase Marisa, "That's it! You're dead, Marisa!"

Marisa rode her broom, effortlessly out-running the Shrine Maiden, and said, "You're too slow!"

Sakuya floated so that she was next to Yutaka and Patchouli, and said to the two, "So, I guess the plan was a success, eh?"

Yutaka nodded, "Well, yes. It's a shame the Boss isn't awake to see it..."

Patchouli thought to herself, "...surely, if the plan was successfully thought-out, then he should know that the plan was a success. Plus, you heard them... they're staying for him..."

Yutaka looked down at the unconscious body of Dawitsu, who was being cradled by Ran while Chen watched helplessly. Feeling the compulsion to check on him, Yutaka floated back down to the ground, signalling to the others to descend as she altered the ceiling so it was back to normal.

Standing over Ran, Yutaka said, "He'll be alright. He's survived far worse."

Ran nodded, "...I know. It's just... seeing him like this is a little upsetting, that's all..."

Yutaka thought back to the last major injury he had sustained, and sighed to herself, "...we should have included Alice in our plans..."

Chen cocked her head, "How would she have helped?"

Sakuya smiled, "I know how she could have helped. If we happened to be able to get that Yuki-Onna, the Prismrivers, Youmu Konpaku, and Yuyuko Saigyouji in on the act, then we could have re-enacted the cherry blossom incident..."

Patchouli sighed, "...things have changed since all those years ago, haven't they? Sakuya...do you think that I could visit the Scarlet Devil Mansion for the night?"

Sakuya's eyes lit up slightly, and she replied, "...I... thought you'd never ask. It's been ages. Koakuma's really missing you, you know."

"It's strange, isn't it? How when someone leaves a place, you suddenly remember how they made you happy. Koakuma and I rarely spoke when I lived in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, yet... I've missed her, too..." Patchouli remarked.

Yutaka smiled wryly, "...and I think... that I've been missing the Dawitsu Mansion... I see the boss all the time, but I think tonight, I want to sleep in my old bed. Talk with Ran, play chess with Chen... I want to go home for a little while."

Chen jumped up and down with glee, "...Yutaka! You... you're going to stay the night? Yay! I'll have to show you how good I am at the x-box! And play Othello with you! Dawi loves playing Othello with me!"

Ran looked down at the unconscious Youkai in question, and said, "...I'm sure Dawitsu will appreciate you staying here for a little while longer..."

Yutaka looked towards the two fully functional, adult humans that happened to be chasing each other around the floor and had now upgraded the threat to firing projectiles at each other, and said, "Be it ever so humble... there's no place like home. Even if it has been ages..."

_The Dawitsu Mansion, nine o'clock post-meridian_

The Dawitsu Mansion, after all of the heavy alteration it had been put through, had finally been returned to normal, and the owner of said mansion had been placed on a sofa in the mansion's foyer.

Ran had decided to put on some proper clothes, and the residents of the Dawitsu Mansion, along with Yutaka, Patchouli, Sakuya, Marisa, and of course, Reimu, had spent their time mainly drinking tea and reminiscing the past. It was strange... as if there was an eerie finality to this meeting, as if there was something slowly withering away.

Reimu took a sip of what was now her third cup of tea, and said, "...you know, everyone's changed so much over these years... I bet that a human's lifetime is nothing to you youkai... I bet you haven't even noticed how much everyone's changed."

Yutaka sipped too, as if to concur with Reimu, "...unfortunately, that truly is the case. A life of a human is... but a blink of a youkai's eye. I... I grew up with a human. She was my best friend... yet, when she grew old, I stayed this way... forever young. But... that isn't to say you don't have much to live for. Humans, knowing their time is short, can be far more careless..."

Marisa looked at the magician somewhat disapprovingly, "What do you mean by that? Youkai are just as stupid, and they have a longer lifespan, so they should be smarter!"

Patchouli shook her head, "...that's not what Yutaka meant. Yutaka was referring to how humans live with few, if any, regrets. A human never has to worry about long-term repercussions of their actions, at least, not to the extent that we youkai do. For example, Yutaka converted a large amount of smoke into water vapour to save the Forest of Magic a while back. The air in Gensokyo is far more humid, and the carbon content of the forest is now far lower than it ever has been. This in itself will not affect any humans of this generation. You, Marisa, and Sakuya... none of you will ever have to worry about the consequences of these actions. You'll be long gone before the full effects of Yutaka's actions are known... you'll be... wherever it is that humans go when they die. What I'm trying to say is, you have much more freedom to enjoy yourself than us youkai."

The room stayed silent for a moment, and finally, Marisa asked, "...um... does anyone else not know what on earth Patchouli just said?"

Patchouli sighed in a slightly irritated tone, "...never mind."

Ran shrugged, "...well, I understood every word of it. And I can't help but feel that in one way, humans are blessed."

Reimu looked to Ran, not quite believing what she had just said, "...huh? What could possibly be a blessing about having reduced power, a short lifespan, and being more susceptible to disease and..."

Sakuya interrupted Reimu, "No... Ran's right. We as humans have something Youkai don't have. We can grow old together... we change so quickly, we pass on our knowledge, our hopes and dreams... while small, are a great achievement when made a reality in such a short time. We truly can be who we want to be with our short lives, because, when we die, there's nothing left to catch up on! We can live without any regrets if we truly want to, because... in the end, we only have eighty measly years as a mortal, probably less. We humans... we're like a youkai, but in fast forward. And because of that, everything is much more fun!"

Chen drank from her tea, and mumbled, "...my head's beginning to hurt."

Marisa shrugged her shoulders, "Well, I still don't get why you youkai are all acting like we humans are special or something. Don't you guys usually treat us like animals?"

Ran smiled to herself, "...there are always rungs on the hierarchy according to your logic, am I right? Animals are inferior to humans, humans are inferior to youkai. Well, isn't it strange that animals can become youkai, in one step of long life? Why isn't there a step from animal to human, and human to youkai? That is the flaw in your reasoning. The reason is because humans exist outside of that hierarchy. They are neither better nor worse than either Youkai or animals. They are merely... another form."

Marisa stopped for a second, tried to take the information in, but her mind soon gave up, "...sorry, you've lost me."

Reimu sighed, "...you know, Marisa, you could have at least tried to take part in the discussion like a real adult. I don't know why that idiot bothered with the whole 'nostalgia experience' for you, you're clearly the same kid you always are..."

Yutaka turned her head, "Speaking of the boss..." Yutaka stood up to check on the sofa Dawitsu was lying on, however, he had disappeared, and suddenly her constant smile wavered, "...um... where is he?"

Ran got up and looked at the same sofa as Yutaka, as if that would somehow change the outcome, and said, "...he... perhaps he's got up?"

Marisa rolled her eyes, "He's probably cooking up some crazy scheme or something. He'll probably ambush us when we least expect it."

Reimu folded her arms, "Yeah, that's right. What a stupid idea. I mean, shock tactics and jump scares are about the least sophisticated tactic of..."

At this point, a certain individual phased into visibility, so that he was hovering behind Reimu, "_Right behind you._"

Reimu instantly jumped out of her seat and screamed, before calming down and turning to the clearly satisfied mimicker, "...damn you! Damn you to hell!"

Dawitsu seemed genuinely dumbfounded, and said, "...um... surprise?"

Marisa got up, turning to the shrine maiden, "...Reimu, that was a little overboard. He just shocked you a little. And compared to what he was doing a few hours ago, that's pretty tame, really."

Reimu glared at Dawitsu, a special, juicy kind of hatred squeezed from concentrate transferring itself from her eyes to his. Finally, she said, "...well, I guess that was immature of me. But still, what the hell? Why did you ambush me?"

Dawitsu twirled his seemingly overgrown hair a little, and laughed nervously before saying, "...because... you're the most fun to get mad?"

Reimu shook her head with mild contempt, "...oh, that's it. You're so getting exterminated."

"Oh please, so impolite..." Dawitsu replied, his faux-calm demeanour returning to him, "Instead of ineffectually threatening me with death, how about we play some drinking games? I have... about five bottles of sake."

Marisa cheered, "I'm up for that!"

Yutaka sweat-dropped, "...um... boss, I don't drink..."

Ran nodded, "Yes, and remember what happened the last time I got drunk?"

Dawitsu shuddered for a moment, as if remembering something horrifying, and muttered, "...oh yeah, _that's _the reason why there's still so much of that stuff unused..."

Sakuya looked at the mimicker's clearly frightened expression, and curiosity got the better of her, "...what happened last time Ran got drunk?"

Dawitsu and Ran both instantly replied, "It's none of your concern!"

Chen, who had herself gone pale, mumbled, "...you... you don't want to see... what I have seen..."

Patchouli failed to change her expression, but clearly was a little unnerved by the remark, "...perhaps the pursuit of knowledge is not always healthy. Let's drop it..."

Dawitsu seized the opportunity by the collar, and quickly said, "Yes! Just forget about it! So... who's for poker? Texas hold 'em rules?"

Marisa cocked her head, "...what's... poker?"

Dawitsu smiled, "...ah... well, I guess I'll have to teach you. Say, you wouldn't happen to have any money on you at the moment, would you?"

_The Hakurei Shrine, about the same time_

Jean was seemingly the only one awake on the Hakurei Shrine's grounds at the moment, and was feeling a little disappointed at being demoted to mere babysitter while Reimu and Marisa had fun solving an incident that was a mere 'play' to the causer. Both Flandre and Patricia had fallen asleep, and were sleeping on futons that Jean himself had gotten out for them. He looked down at the sleeping shrine maiden from where he was sat, and at that moment, something in his head flashed. Like he had seen this before... he smiled as he recognised the reason he was feeling deja vu... this was exactly like the moment that had changed his life forever.

Patricia, when reduced to merely a duvet-covered body, a face, short, black hair, and no head accessories of any sort, looked ever so slightly similar to her adoptive mother. So much so that Jean couldn't help but think of Reimu, back when she had stayed at his apartment in the outside world. Such a simple gesture, letting a stranger stay at his apartment, yet... it had changed so much.

When he was a child, there was no way he would have imagined he could be where he was now. Jean had once dreamed that he would be an astronaut... then he dreamed he would be a doctor, and in the end, he had gotten a meaningless job as a manager of a growing stationary manufacturing business. His only joy was his wife, and once she was gone, all of his joy naturally disappeared with it. His imagination, hopes and dreams had died with the first Patricia, yet... his hope was reignited once Reimu had brought him to Gensokyo. And with that, he had made something of himself. Being able to bring down a plethora of fairies in a single spell was one thing, but it was another to become a leading philosopher of Gensokyo... Jean had truly gotten what he had wanted from life... a satisfying position that he had achieved through hard work, without losing friends on the way, rather, gaining friends along the path. And... the shadow that the original Patricia's death had left upon his life had become something else entirely- her memory was now preserved with the name of yet another light in his life- the Patricia that slept in front of him.

Jean began to tear up, and he mumbled, "...la vie est belle..."

At this point, however, fate seemed to conspire to destroy the beautiful moment, and a certain drunken Oni punched the door of the shrine open, yelling, "...hey there mister human man that Reimu likes the pants... high low, jack-a-low, round and round it goes, where it points, nobody knows..."

Jean scowled, and pointed his finger at Suika, before muttering something inaudibly, the result being a shot firing and hitting the Oni, knocking her back and shutting her up, "Will you be quiet? There are two people sleeping here..."

"Sorry... mum... dad... child-minding... man..." Suika slurred, "...where's Reimu? She's not mad at me for not paying the rent, is she? Because I told her that my hard work is all the rent she could ever want! I don't want her asking for rent the next time I fix her shrine while she's all crying over a celestial and telling me I'm a drunkard and a slacker because I drink a lot..."

Jean face-palmed, "...you are not making any sense..."

"You're not making any sense!" Suika replied.

Jean sighed, "...do you want me to put out a futon for you as well?"

Suika stumbled a little, and nodded, "...yeah... I could do with some sleep. You know, you're nice... mister... mister... stubbly woman who calls herself Jean... the Frenchy from Frenchland... I... I owe ya one... I... I think there's something else I need to tell ya... something important... but... I can't remember..."

Jean went into the side room, and came back with a mattress, and finally replied to Suika so as to give her time to remember whatever it was that was 'important', "...what is it?"

"...something about... Frenchland... you know... that silly place you come from where they eat snails and frog's legs and uncooked shredded cow and stuff? Yeah... something about that... something I did there..." Suika stopped and thought a little longer, "...I think it was... oh yeah, that's it. I drank a nice-tasting alcoholic drink called wine there... yeah, that was it..."

Jean sighed. For a moment, he thought that Suika was actually going to apologise to him for how callously she treated the destruction of a restaurant and sectioning of a man in front of him... possibly the only grudge he had kept throughout his life.

Desperate for this to be the case, Jean asked, "Is there anything else that you want to say?"

Suika shook her head, "Nope. It was fun, was my trip to Frenchland. I wanna go again within the next two hundred years..."

With that, Suika threw herself onto the futon Jean had laid out, and almost instantly fell asleep, with Jean shaking his head in disapproval. He sometimes thought that perhaps he was too kind, and muttered, "Ivrogne stupide..."

It was at this point Suika increased her ability to irritate Jean tenfold, and began to mumble in her sleep, "...riding a box in Frenchland... seeing all the sights... eating at fancy restaurants..."

Jean tensed up, and became frustrated. He aimed his finger at Suika's head, and readied himself to shoot her, if only to shut her up once again. At this point, however, Suika sleep-talked something that stopped him.

"...those silly humans... thought I wasn't an Oni... so I blew them up... man... that wasn't good... I regretted that the morning after... but they were so stupid not to believe me... I never tell lies... but... I guess it's not their fault they're stupid... la la la... stupid humans... not their fault... I was mean to the stupid humans... la la la... sorry for hurting the stupid humans..." Suika muttered, causing Jean to lower his hand.

"...so... she... I guess that is better than nothing." Jean sighed, "...I guess it has been many years. I should probably stop being cold to her. She is just having a good time in the only way she knows how..."

Jean walked out of the room for a moment, and brought a duvet into the room, and put it over the sleeping Oni, whispering, "...good night, Miss Ibuki..."

"Night night cowboy helicopter wing man..." Suika replied to what may or may not have been the same person who said 'good night' to her.

Jean shook his head, "...where could Reimu be? It shouldn't have taken them this long to finish the incident Mister Dawitsu had planned... if I remember, an incident usually takes around thirty minutes to solve..."

Jean stopped, as if waiting for a response, but in the end, nothing replied. The human magician hung his head, and muttered, "...I truly am too kind..."

The man paced around the house for a while, and occasionally muttered to himself to check that he was still alive. He pulled an old, tattered book from his pocket, and read the Grimoire of Dawitsu to pass the time, even though he had covered all off the chapters years ago.

"...Fujiwara no Mokou..." Jean mumbled, "...the woman who can live forever..."

Jean sighed, and began thinking to himself once again. What was there to gain from immortality? Clearly the calm, good-hearted Byakuren Hijiri was willing to become immortal due to grief over the loss of her brother, the very person he supposedly once was, yet Jean had to think that perhaps she had rushed into a wrong decision.

Being unable to choose to terminate one's existence would always be the main issue with becoming immortal. The fact that, once immortal, there would be no way that one could age and die, nor be killed in any way. The ages would put a strain on the fragile human brain, and the memories would continue to pile up. Any dreams that one hoped to achieve during life would become meaningless, the motivation to make them a reality would disappear if one simply had all the time in the world to do them. Yet, at the same time, with an infinite life, one could become as wise as any youkai.

Clearly some people within Gensokyo could cope with the strains of long life, mainly Youkai. Yukari Yakumo, judging by how she behaved, could have well been as old as time itself, yet she didn't seem to be suffering from anything other than a perhaps justified superiority complex. What made it so that humans, like the case of Fujiwara no Mokou, could not cope with being immortal, or, at the very least, quickly come to regret their choice. Perhaps it was the type of immortality itself- the fact that while most consider immortality to being equivalent to not being able to feel pain, or die, or be physically harmed in any way, shape, or form, the fact was that Mokou still felt pain. She could die, and feel the full pain of that death, yet come back afterwards, most likely still stinging from her last life.

Jean then decided to cite Byakuren as an example- she was, according to her stories, once human, and indulged in black magic, hence how she came to attain immortality and thus eventually become a youkai. She had told Jean that when she pursued such a path that she was 'young and foolish', yet she didn't seem to regret her actions. It was as if she had accepted the past as it has happened, and did not desire to change any part of it because she knows that doing so is impossible. In fact, given how close she was to the Buddhist hope of enlightenment, it made sense that she would not desire something out of her reach.

So, what did this mean to someone like Jean? The man ran his hands through his limp, greying hair, and his mind turned to an important question- did he himself want to life forever? Recently, his mind had been preoccupied with that question, as if it was his current philosophical topic of the moment. What advantages were there to this weak body? He was pretty sure that he could learn how to attain eternal life via black magic from Byakuren, who had clearly stated on a number of occasions that she still practised it and that power is only as evil as its wielder. Clearly, Byakuren's brand of immortality seemed to be the more pleasant out of hers and Mokou's...

Suddenly, Jean's thoughts flitted to Marisa. The man shook his head, and he mused, "...I... don't want to live forever..."

Jean smiled to himself. He knew exactly why it was thinking of Marisa had made him take this stance- she was a kleptomaniac. A kleptomaniac who had used the same excuse on many an occasion- that she was only borrowing a person's books for life, and that as soon as she died, they could have them back. Marisa was clearly a fun-loving person who didn't want a single moment to feel boring. She knew her time as a mortal was limited, and she seemed to have no intention of changing that fact, merely maximising what she could do with that time. The more Jean thought about it, the greater his smile became.

"...yes, I don't want to live forever. Marisa... you are a genius, although you do not know that..." Jean muttered, "...I shall have to tell the Buddhists of the human village my thoughts. Perhaps Byakuren and I can host a philosophical debate session... but I have to make sure that the Taoists do not ruin it. I can see Miss Toyosatomimi doing that, or even worse, Miss Kaku..."

Jean got up, and closed the Grimoire of Dawitsu. It was at this point a voice asked, "What you reading, Uncle Jean?"

"Patricia?" Jean asked, looking down at the futon the young shrine maiden was lying in, "What are you doing awake?"

"...you were talking to yourself, and it disturbed me..." Patricia replied somewhat sleepily.

"And yet you slept soundly through Miss Ibuki's yelling?" Jean pinted out.

"Huh? Suika's back?" Patricia asked, before rolling over in her futon to see that not only was Flandre sleeping on the floor next to her, but so was the Oni in question.

Patricia got up, and shook her head so her hair was back in place, "...so, what were you reading?"

Jean looked at the moth-eaten Grimoire, and said, "This? This is an old guidebook that the mimicker man gave me. It did not come in handy as often as I had hoped, but it is always entertaining to read after a while..."

"Is it okay if I read it?" Patricia said rather than asked, and took the book before Jean could answer, "...where's the article for Reimu?"

Jean sweat-dropped, "Perhaps it is best that you don't read this book..."

"Why not? I want to know what Reimu was like as a teenager... Mr Dawitsu talks about her all the time..." Patricia sighed, "...sometimes, I feel like I've made things boring for her. She could be out there, having fun like Marisa, but instead, she's had to raise me."

Jean smiled, "...no. That's not true. Firstly, you couldn't help that. Miss Yakumo was the one who brought you here, and she obviously wasn't worried that you would make things boring for her. Reimu... Reimu had her hands full, but she certainly was not bored."

Patricia looked up at Jean, and said, "...Uncle Jean, can you tell me a story from when I was young? Reimu insists that those months were just a blur to her..."

Jean rolled his eyes, yet secretly wanted to tell her a story, "...I see no reason why not. I'll tell you about a time when I went to the Hakurei Shrine, and Reimu was trying to make you speak. You were only one year old at the time, so, as you can imagine, you weren't going to say anything any time soon. She was sitting in front of you, pointing at objects and slowly saying their names. She said 'Yin-yang orb', she said 'Gohei', and she said 'Spell-card', but you just looked at each object blankly. I told her that she shouldn't expect a child of your age to speak, and it was just at that time that you seemed to say the word 'Reimu'. She was... hyperactive, so happy. She picked you up, danced around in circles with you, and proudly declared that you had just said her name. However, she danced with you so much that you vomited onto her top, and the day after, you did not continue to say the word 'Reimu', so I assumed it was just a... is the word I'm looking for 'fluke'? I sometimes still have trouble with English, even now..."

"...so... so what was really my first word?" Patricia asked.

"...Aunty Marisa. Reimu was not impressed..." Jean laughed to himself, "...and from that point onwards Reimu kept trying to make you say her name, but you seemed to say everyone else's names before her..."

"It seems Reimu was a little bit different from a normal parent... but... then again, I don't know what that is. I mean, I know that, like, a guy and a girl usually raise a child together, and stuff, but what do they act like?" Patricia kept asking questions, as if she had woken up with her brain switched into permanent inquisition mode, "Do you know, Uncle Jean?"

Jean tilted his head in thought, "...well, my parents would always compete with each other for my affection, so they were by no means perfect... and Patricia... I mean, the Patricia that you're named after, she did not have normal parenting at all..."

Patricia's eyes widened, "...huh? How did she get raised?"

"By her mother and a homosexual man named Clement..." Jean replied, "Clement would always help her mother even though they were not romantically involved. Almost like myself and Reimu to you, wouldn't you say?"

Patricia's face seemed to be imply she was slightly confused, "Wait, wait, back up, guys can be homosexual?"

Jean became slightly red, "Well, yes, of course they can..."

"...b-but... but that's not fair! There are so many girls and not enough guys over here!" Patricia complained, "The guys can't just be selfish and be with each other, there are girls who want boyfriends!"

Jean face-palmed, "...Patricia, they cannot help it if they..."

"...okay, where are the gay guys? If there's some my age, I'm gonna force the most handsome one to be my boyfriend! It's only right, after all!" Patricia declared.

Jean didn't quite know how to handle this, "...Patricia, I think we've gone off topic..."

"Nonsense!" Patricia replied, "Hey, Jean, you're not gay, are you?"

Jean suddenly blushed, and sweat began to form all over his face, "...n-no... I was with a woman for years before..."

"Then why aren't you getting with someone like Marisa or Reimu or someone?" Patricia asked, "...you're being just as selfish..."

Jean sighed, "That's not how love works, Patricia... I must say, it has been a while since I have said that..."

"I've seen the way Aunty Marisa looks at you! And until you get with her, Reimu's gonna think she stands a chance with you, and will get herself hurt!" Patricia ranted.

Jean shook his head, "No, Patricia. The truth is, I have known Marisa since she was sixteen. I was an adult at the time. I could never get with someone who I've known as a child when I myself were an adult. It's... too strange. Also, I... guess I still think about the Patricia I once was married to..."

Patricia folded her arms, "No kidding, I'm named after her. Anyway, it's your loss. Oh... I'm not tired any more, Uncle Jean. I want to stay up with you. Is that okay?"

Jean knew there was no saying no to the girl, "If you want."

"...yay! I can't wait 'til Reimu and the others get home!" Patricia said, "...you reckon they'll come home soon?"

Jean walked to the door, and opened it, looking out into the night sky. The stars were clear and bright, and the moon was a shining, waning gibbous moon. Jean surveyed the scene, and for a moment, a silhouette blocked his view of the moon, and he shouted into the house, "Patricia! They're here!"

Reimu and Marisa landed, and the first to notice Jean was Marisa.

"Hey there, Mr I'm-too-responsible-to-go-incident-solving! How are you? Bored?" Marisa jeered, before walking up to Jean, and quietly saying, "You missed us, didn't ya? That's why you were looking out for us just then..."

Jean sweat-dropped, "...er... actually, that was the first time this evening. Patricia was asking..."

Reimu tutted, "...she's still up? She's gonna go crazy if she continues to sleep for such a short time... she was up at five this morning..."

Marisa shrugged her shoulders, "...heh, you're too uptight, Reimu! That's why she likes her fun Aunty Marisa better!"

Patricia proceeded to prove Marisa wrong, however, and ran out of the door, past Marisa, and hugged her adoptive mother, "...welcome home, Reimu. So, did you figure it out?"

"Figure what out?" Reimu asked.

Patricia smirked, as if she had gotten some kind of edge over her 'mum', and let her go so she could explain her 'exclusive knowledge', "...well, you'll be surprised to know that Dawitsu was putting on an act the entire time, and that the incident was truly orchestrated by Flandre Scarlet, who willingly gave her sword to Dawitsu, allowing him to put a show on for you so you could enjoy the good old days..."

Reimu looked at Patricia somewhat blankly, "Yeah, wasn't that obvious?"

Patricia sighed, "Oh... I guess I'm still not as good as you yet..."

Reimu ruffled Patricia's hair, "Don't worry. You're doing very well... but don't let that get to your head. You need to keep working at your techniques, and eventually you'll be as skilled as I was in my prime... maybe more..."

Marisa laughed, "Look who's talking, Reimu. Weren't you the same girl who never did any training whatsoever yet incidents mysteriously solved themselves once you went out to investigate while I studied day and night just to be on the same level as you?"

Reimu sweat-dropped, "...d-don't listen to Marisa. She's making up lies again. Remember what I said about the time the Enma lectured us all?"

Patricia nodded, "Yeah?"

"Well, she got lectured for lying too much." Reimu finished her brief story.

"Hey! That's not true!" Marisa shouted, "She just told me to stop enhancing the truth..."

"With lies." Reimu added.

"Hey, shut up!" Marisa replied, clearly giving up on out-witting her, "Anyway, didn't the Enma say that you were a jerk for not paying your God any respect, and the fact that you beat up humans?"

"But everyone does that from time to time..." Reimu dismissively said.

Jean butted in, "Actually, in fairness, there are more people that lie than people who beat up humans..."

Reimu folded her arms, "Oh well, I guess that what the Enma says is meaningless. Anyway, Sakuya's gone home, so we've got to kick Flandre out now..."

Jean sweat-dropped, "...that... may be a problem..."

Marisa cocked her head, "Why?"

"She's... asleep." Jean replied.

Reimu tutted, "Jean, you know what your problem is? You're too nice! You can't just get beds out for whoever comes in the house, you know..."

Jean smirked, "It's funny, I was just thinking that myself. I guess you are right. But if I did not, I wouldn't be here now, am I right?"

Reimu nodded, "...yeah, guess that is true..."

Patricia looked at the three adults, and wondered what kinds of thoughts must have occupied their minds. She knew that whatever it was, they were at the very least bitter-sweet thoughts, at best happy memories. Clearly Dawitsu's plan was a great success...

_The Netherworld, nine ante-meridian the next day_

It seemed that despite the general slowing down of all of Gensokyo, the Netherworld had remained unaffected from the inertia of the many years that had passed, and was still the same situation as always- dead and calm to the ears of a mortal and bustling and lively to the ears of a phantom.

Along the quiet streets of the Netherworld, however, there was always one house which proved to be noisy even to the ears of mortals. Of course, this house was the poltergeist-containing mansion that the Prismrivers called home. And across the road from this house was another particularly noisy house, a strange-looking home that was clearly had one side different to the other.

One side of the house was orientally themed, similar to the houses used by most of the phantoms of the Netherworld. However, the other half was noticeably western-style, similar in many ways to the Poltergeist Mansion, albeit with a less ramshackle outer appearance. The inhabitants of this half-baked house were similarly half-baked- they were, of course, the wholly half-baked band, Youmu and the Half-ghosts.

Although Youmu was officially the proprietor of the house, the house was actually designed by the bassist of the band, Demi. He had also recently gained popularity as he had become a singer for the band for songs that required a male voice, so in many ways, he was satisfied. It also seemed that hard work and satisfaction were directly proportional, as out of the five members, Youmu and Demi were by far the ones having the most fun with their careers at the moment, and were also the only ones awake at the time.

Demi was drinking a cup of black tea, sitting in the living room of the house, which had a kotatsu on one half of the room and a sofa on the other. While he was on the sofa, Youmu was sitting under the kotatsu, quietly drinking her green tea.

The room was silent for a while, and finally, Demi broke the aforementioned silence with a small sentence, "...so, ready for the concert?"

Youmu muttered, "...yeah. You got any new ideas for the new album's name?"

Demi scratched his head, "Uh... Dioecious Damnation?"

"I don't even know what that word means..." Youmu replied.

"What? Damnation?" Demi asked.

Youmu looked down a little, "...no. Dioecious. What does it mean?"

"It means able to have two genders... you know, they only can give one half of a kid to the equation when they... uh... you know, copulate!" Demi laughed a little at his remark, but soon stopped as it was clear Youmu didn't understand the word 'copulate' either.

"...I'm not going to ask what copulating means..." Youmu remarked.

"Thank goodness for that, man..." Demi replied, "...so, should we wake up the others?"

Youmu smiled a little, "...well, okay. What should we sing?"

"How about that duet we ain't released yet?" Demi suggested.

Youmu smiled, "That sounds like a plan..."

Demi began to sing in a surprisingly crisp-sounding, smooth voice, "...we once were looking for a mate..."

"...something to fill the empty space..." Youmu sang back.

Demi continued, "...that's when I found you singing there..."

"...that's when I found you standing there..." Youmu echoed Demi, bringing his notes a fifth higher, "...looking at my face..."

Demi finished her sentence, "...in total awe..."

"...you asked me where I learned to sing..."

"...like I'd say such a stupid thing..."

"...and then you took my hand and dragged me away..." Youmu held her last note, waiting for a none-existent musical break to finish, and then cued Demi for the 'chorus', where they'd sing together.

"We were once two halves alone, but now we're whole... you complete me, two half-humans and halves of souls..." Youmu and Demi sang in unison, "...and together, just you and I, we can take all pain in our stride, 'cause with you, we're one... and all..."

Demi stopped singing at this point, and blushed ever so slightly, "...man, the fans are gonna go crazy when we perform this tonight..."

Youmu giggled, "Yeah, I mean, the Bunbunmaru Spirit News is _convinced _we're secretly a couple, this should make the tabloids even more interested..."

Demi looked upwards, and shouted, "Hey! We're practising our singing! That means you guys have to get up up there!"

A muffled voice muttered above them, "Shut up, we're trying to sleep..."

"Well stop trying!" Youmu called back, and got out one of her swords, poking the ceiling with it.

"That's it, if you're practising that dumb duet, can me and Point-five stay asleep? You only need Semi, right?" the voice of what clearly belonged to Hemi replied.

Another voice, which was significantly more awake-sounding, replied, "No! If I'm getting up, so's everyone else! Plus, we do need you and Point-five. The drums kick in first chorus, and there's a guitar solo in the middle eight!"

Hemi groaned, "...stupid... fine! Whatever! Hope you're happy, Demi!"

Demi sniggered, "Yep. I'm happy alright."

Youmu turned to Demi and whispered, "Okay, now that they're up, I'm going to go out, that way they'll be fully awake for practice when I get back."

"Where ya going?" Demi asked.

"...does it matter. Don't worry, I won't be long..." Youmu replied.

Youmu slipped out of her house as quietly as possible, and left her unfortunate bassist to somewhat literally face the music when the rest of her compatriots got up.

She walked down the street a little, making a left, heading down a large road, then making a right, and then walked towards a noticeably large flight of stairs. She decided the her legs didn't need the exercise today, and began to fly, her human half hovering just above the stairs in an almost ghostly manner.

When she finally got to the top of the stairs, she walked a little further, to a large house, once that she once knew as home. However, instead of entering said house, she walked right around it and went to the gardens.

She stopped for a while, observed the various cherry trees, some that were in blossom and some that just working their way to blooming. Youmu smiled to herself for a small moment, then drew her sword. Turning to an overgrown section of grass, she stopped, focused, and somewhat jarringly, charged towards the grass in question, making one clean slash, and in one fell swoop, had mowed one human-sized line of the grass-bed she had turned her attention to. She walked into the next line's worth of grass, and repeated the procedure, and within minutes, she had mowed every grass-bed of the Netherworld's palace grounds.

She looked up at a hedge that towered over her nearby, and sighed to herself, knowing she would just _have _to trim it back, and before she knew it, she had mowed the lawns, trimmed the hedges, tended to the fruit trees, cut back the Leylandii, and removed any harmful fungi that were growing on the various older trees. Finally, Youmu looked over her handiwork, proud of her efforts, and walked away as if nothing had happened.

However, a certain someone was looking over the situation from her house, knowing that anything but nothing had just happened. She grinned to herself, and mumbled, "Youmu, you never change... you've always been so hard-working. I'm so proud of you..."

Yuyuko briefly considered walking out of the house to thank her, but before she could put that idea into practice, Youmu had already left, making Yuyuko feel a tad disappointed in herself. However, she realised something- what Youmu had done was a good deed, for no particular reason, not expecting to be thanked, nor even be noticed. She wished to remain anonymous, and so Yuyuko decided that not thanking her in person was probably for the best. She did, however, know where Youmu lived, and decided she would write her a 'thank you' letter.

Yuyuko sat down at her kotatsu, and got a piece of somewhat ghostly-looking paper from a disorganised pile of sheets on the floor. She began to write with her finger, which left a light pink imprint when it touched the 'paper', and read her message as she wrote it.

"Dear anonymous benefactor. Thank you for cutting back my hedges. And mowing my lawns. And tending to the garden in general. Are you the same anonymous benefactor as the one who tended to my garden last week? I would offer you a job at the palace, but the fact that you haven't shown yourself to me implies that you don't want a job here... I hope that this letter of appreciation is enough to satisfy you, but just in case it isn't, I've sent some food with this letter. An old favourite of the living... Tsukemono. I know that phantoms don't usually eat, but something tells me you're not quite a phantom. Yours truly, Yuyuko Saigyouji, Princess of the Netherworld." Yuyuko smiled, and signed her name at the bottom of her letter.

She proceeded to get out two glass jars from one of her cupboards, both of which contained pickled vegetables. After opening one of them to guzzle down the contents, she picked up the other one, and put her fingers in her mouth so that she could whistle for a phantom.

A phantom came at her call, and she handed it the full jar of Tsukemono and her letter, saying, "Deliver this to the strange half-styled house. Be sure to make sure only Youmu Konpaku sees it. Yes, you can get the others' autographs if you want, as long as they don't see the letter..."

The phantom took the items off of Yuyuko, and floated out of the house in silence. Yuyuko sat down at her kotatsu once more, and calmly said, "Hello, Yukari."

Truly enough, Yukari Yakumo had appeared behind the ghost, and seemed to be slightly disappointed that Yuyuko had noticed her so early on, "...hello, Yuyuko."

"So, why are you here?" Yuyuko asked in an overly absent-minded manner, "...have you got any earth-shattering revelations to make?"

"...no." Yukari admitted, "I'm just here to talk. So, was it all part of your plan?"

"Was what all part of my plan?" Yuyuko replied, still not having turned around to look at the Border Youkai.

"...you know, leaving your garden to grow, because you know you won't have to do it?" Yukari simultaneously answered and asked, "I must say, your subtle acts of manipulation do astound me, Yuyuko. I wonder what it would be like if we were enemies?"

Yuyuko giggled to herself, and finally looked at Yukari, "I would take over Gensokyo. There's no doubt. I can automatically conscript everyone into my army with ease."

"Yes, but I happen to be very powerful all on my own. I would simply encourage a rebellion within your ghost army. Plus, what's the point of expanding your reign into an area which will have no living residents left?" Yukari pointed out.

"Oh my, well it's a good thing I'm not trying to expand my reign then, isn't it?" Yuyuko replied with a cheerful grin, infuriating the Border Youkai ever so slightly.

"So, you don't want power because obtaining it would be pointless?" Yukari asked, "...well, that's a fair point. I don't think I'd ever want to expand beyond what I already am..."

Yuyuko stopped for a moment, and said, "I don't think you could. You are pretty much the final, greatest form of Youkai. I don't think anyone can go beyond your power..."

Yukari's face seemed to swell with pride, "Well, yes, that's true. So, how did you manage to inspire guilt into little Youmu without talking to her directly? Simply by leaving the garden alone? That is truly incredible..."

Yuyuko shook her head, "You don't understand, do you, Yukari?"

"Huh?" Yukari cocked her head, "What is there to not understand?"

"...I didn't do anything of the sort. This wasn't planned." Yuyuko answered, "You're giving me too much credit. I have simply been careless and Youmu has simply done what she considers to be the right thing. Even I leave things to chance every now and then..."

The concept didn't seem to exist in Yukari's head, and she asked, "So... that letter you wrote... that was genuine? No hidden agenda?"

Yuyuko nodded, leaving that alone as her answer.

"...and you're not at all feigning stupidity?" Yukari asked.

"Well, no more than usual." Yuyuko replied, "I've still written the letter although I don't know who did me those favours, but Youmu's smart enough to see from the way I've written the letter that I do know who she is, and she'll also know that I am genuinely grateful."

Yukari shook her head, "...I think you're giving Youmu too much credit."

"...she is a simple-minded girl. She won't over-think it like... certain people." Yuyuko winked at Yukari as she said this, covering her mouth with a fan in the process.

"...it doesn't take a genius to know who you're aiming that at..." Yukari replied.

"...who here is a genius?" Yuyuko asked rhetorically, "I'm pretty sure that whoever... whoever is telling the story of life is not a genius. And if such a person is not a genius, then how is that person able to comprehend genius at all? The person would simply count such characters as mysterious, or hard-to-write... thus, I am not a genius, and neither are you."

"It's been ages. I don't know who in particular it is who writes this world any more..." Yukari replied, "I guess that it is impossible for characters to escape the scope of the writer's thinking capabilities. And when a writer is unable to think any more at all..."

Yuyuko finished Yukari's sentence somewhat cheerfully, "Then he becomes a ghost. An influence, for want of a better word. When a writer of a universe dies, the universe becomes more alive than ever before, and all who read also define the characters, rather than it being limited to the scope of the original writer. In which case... genii may exist in Gensokyo after all..."

Yukari wasn't expecting that kind of a response, and she quietly said, "...you... you might be right... Gensokyo may not be dying after all..."

Yuyuko stood up, "Yukari, Gensokyo has only just begun in its life. It will stay alive for generations. It will be passed on... and will eventually become beloved folklore. And cultivated within the warmth of people's hearts, Gensokyo will thrive."

Yukari nodded, "...yeah. What you say makes sense..."

Yuyuko grinned, "...so, do you think that one era has died out? Or do you think that a new era has started?"

Yukari smirked, "It is like the two-faced God, Janus. Both have occurred..."

Yuyuko suddenly reverted back to her usual, absent-minded self, and said, "...I don't suppose you and Janus are related at all? He being the God of beginnings and transitions, and all?"

"...don't count on it." Yukari muttered, "It's over. It's finally over..."

Yuyuko giggled, "...you've still got the wrong attitude. This is a christening, not a funeral. So, let us approach this final border with a positive heart..."

Yukari nodded, "Yes. This is it..."

The room became quiet, and suddenly, as if she couldn't help herself, she began to sing.

"We'll... meet again... don't know where... don't know when... but I know we'll meet again, some sunny day..." Yukari stopped, beginning to cry, as if she was saying goodbye to a dear friend, forcing Yuyuko to continue for her.

"Keep... smiling through... just like you... always do... 'til the blues skies drive the dark clouds far away..." Yuyuko held her last note, trying not to get too emotional herself.

Yukari and Yuyuko held each others' hands, and began to sing together, finishing the first half of the song together, "So, will you please say 'hello', to the folks that I know... tell them... I won't be long... they'll be happy to know, that as you saw me go... I was singing... this song..."

The two older women's singing echoed far and wide, and for some peculiar reason, the essence of the song filled the hearts of all in Gensokyo. Every person, for few minutes, felt a bizarre, bitter-sweet feeling well up inside them, that they were about to disappear, but knew that they'd be back, one sunny day...

_The various denizens of Gensokyo were all doing their own things when this song sounded within them, and as such, it held a special meaning for all..._

_Yutaka and Dawitsu played each other at Othello, discussing with each other what they had missed while they had been apart, discussing how married life had changed them and how, in general, time had changed them._

_Hebiko was carrying flowers to a certain place in the Forest of Magic, and placed it down near a small, make-shift gravestone that read 'Bertrand Bimyouna; beloved friend.'. Tokage, on the other hand was writing at her usual, rushed pace, but this time, she wasn't writing for one of her novels. She was instead, writing an author's note for the beginning of her book, one that stated, 'I cannot do this any more. I cannot lie like this. Hebiko Bimyouna has been helping me this whole time. I want her to be beloved... I can't take the credit any more...'._

_Alice and Medicine were playing with each other, their current game being putting on plays with other, less animate dolls. Their tengu associates, Aya Shameimaru and Hatate Himekaidou, however, were concocting altogether different stories- ones which were fictional, but intended to be taken as real._

_Patchouli and Koakuma were talking with each other in her old library, and Remilia was insistently cutting in every now and then to tell Patchouli an interesting fact she had learned in her absence. Flandre and Sakuya watched on, satisfied that, at least for the moment, the Scarlet Devil Mansion was once again with a bookworm._

_Fujiwara no Mokou was standing outside Eientei of the lost when the song hit her ever-beating heart, and she smiled to herself slightly as she took a pot shot at Kaguya as she left the house, killing her, but, naturally, the human and the lunarian soon 'met again', and a fight inevitably broke out._

_Marisa and Jean were simply sleeping on the sofa together when the song spoke to their souls, and caused Jean to roll over, and held Marisa's hand as she slept. Marisa knew what to do, and simply gripped it back, smiling as the sombre song reminded her of days gone by..._

_But, of all the people in Gensokyo, the song hit Reimu the hardest. She, as well as Patricia, were simply sitting in their living room together, when suddenly, she burst into tears. Patricia became concerned, and asked her what was wrong, and Reimu took a while to answer. But when she did answer, she gave but one word._

_Time._

Author's Note: This... is finally it. The end. It's over. This book series has finished. It's strange, I'm... not as sad to see it go as I thought I'd be.

Nonetheless, I must admit, I'll miss all you fans. You've made this whole thing worthwhile, and well... I couldn't do it without you. I really couldn't. You were the ones who motivated me, you were the ones who've made me go this far. And now, it's about to end.

But... we will meet again. Some sunny day.

Update: I have come up with an idea, given that some people express a desire for this series to continue in this future. I will give the Dawitsuverse to you fans. Manipulate it as you wish. In other words, I'm encouraging YOU to continue my story, should you wish. I would much rather be the reader than the writer this time round. Think of it as... Shigesato Itoi's attitude to MOTHER 4- you make it. And if you do, be sure to let me know. I'll be glad to read it :)

Until next time, my fans...


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